Is this too fast?

Arianna stood shell shocked at my statement.  It was almost as if she was searching for the right words to say or even say anything at all.  I willed her to say something to me.  I needed an outside perspective on this........

Me: “Say something!”

Arianna: “I ... wow!  Are you sure you’re ready for him to meet your family already?  It hasn’t been that long Bella.  You two barely got together and he’s already to meet your family and possibly move you away?”

Me: “How did you know about him asking me to move?”

Arianna: “I heard him the other day.  Bella this is WAY too fast!!”

Me: “I thought so too, but he really wants to meet my mom and family.  How do I say no?  I do love him, but I don’t know if it’s just because I don’t want to be alone or if it is indeed a true love.”

Arianna: “You need to stand up for yourself girl!  I thought you finally grew a backbone when you broke up with Craig, but it’s almost like it disappeared and the old push over Bella is back.  If you don’t want him to go, then don’t.  You can dictate what happens too!”

Me: “What if I lose him?  I can’t go through yet another heartbreak right now.”

Arianna: “And you’re going to what? Just do as he says?  He’s not in the army anymore and you are not one of his cadets.  If he loves you, like he says he does, then he will understand and give you some time and space.  You gave yourself up once before...don’t do it again!”

I nodded.  I knew she was right, this was WAY too fast.  But I didn’t know how to stop it.  I agreed with both of them, Joel came back into my life for a reason, and this was going at lightning speed.  I knew I had to talk to Joel when I got home. 

The shift went by very fast.  My boss gave me the green light to leave early since I had been early to work every day and even stayed late when we had an unusual rush of people.  On my way home I called my doctor to make an appointment, stopped at the drug store and picked up condoms and a Plan B; which I quickly took on my way home.  When I got back to the loft, Joel was sitting on the couch watching TV. The loft was spotless, and there was some fresh flowers sitting on the coffee table.  I smiled knowing I could get used to this, but I knew we had to talk.  I saw his duffel packed and ready to go by the couch.  As I came in he got up and walked towards me.

Joel: “Welcome home baby!”

Me: “Thank you!  I see you cleaned the place.  It looks good.”

Joel: “Well I was bored and figured you needed a break so I cleaned.  You just have to pack and we can be on our way.”

Me: “About that...ummm....are you sure you want to do this?  It seems really fast.  We haven’t been together that long and...”

Joel: “Baby, I just want to meet and talk to your mom.  We aren’t going to get married tomorrow.  Are you having a change of heart?”

Me: “This all just seems so fast.  I don’t know how she is going to react.  It may not be good.”

He nodded and I could see that he didn’t like that I was backing down.  I needed to talk to the one person who could reason with me...Monroe.  He was the one person who has seen me through everything.  I know I should be able to make this decision on my own.  But I know Monroe would never steer me down the wrong path.  He stopped my impending marriage....he could stop this if that is what was needed.  I realized then that I had missed Monroe more than ever.  He was my rock, my soul mate; even though he’s gay.

I told Joel I had to make a phone call and he nodded and went back to the couch.  I walked to the bedroom and closed the door.  I had hoped Monroe wasn’t busy, but I needed his opinion.  So I called him and of course he answered my phone.  I could hear commotion in the background...

M: “Hey good lookin!  How’s Mr. Man?

Me: “He’s good.  I miss you!! It sounds like you’re busy.  Should I call back?”

M: “no way!  I am almost done styling this shoot and then I am free.  Just bear with me for 5 minutes.”

I listened on the other end of the phone and grabbed my duffel bag and started packing. He was barking orders and telling the models to calm down.  Finally he sighed and the background noise dropped.

M: “Ok, what’s up?”

Me: “I need your opinion, your honest opinion.”

M: “Ok shoot!”

Me: “Joel wants to meet mom....this weekend.  He’s asked me to move to California....Arianna thinks it’s too fast, mom is going to grill me when I get there.....your opinion matters most.....am I making a mistake?”

M: “Well it has been fast, and you guys weren’t exactly exclusive while he was back in California.  But I can’t tell you what to do Bella.”

Me: “Yes you can!  You are the one person who could tell me the sky is pink and I wouldn’t argue with you.....please don’t sugar coat this.....tell me”

M: “It is fast Bella.  You moving right now, out of the question.  But you can do a trial run.  Just don’t rush into anything.  You have a long way to go to trusting again after what Douche Bag McGee and Miss Whore Bag did to you.  I don’t want to see you isolated away from all of us.  If he wants to meet mom, I think she can tear a strip or two off him to find out what he’s all about.  I would come home but I am super slammed right now.  Just tread lightly.  Do not move!  You are not leaving that loft permanently.  Just save some cash go and visit for a couple of weeks and see how it goes playing house.  If it goes well then wait another few months and then move...but both of you move so that neither of you has the advantage.  He leaves California you leave Ontario.”

Me: “So going home isn’t too fast?”

M: “Do you think your mom can’t handle him??? Please that woman could make a cop nervous.”

I laughed because it was true.  She was very intimidating to people she didn’t know. 

Me: “I know you’re right!  Oh by the way Chloe.....is pregnant!”

M: “Oh girl please tell me it’s Craig’s....”

Me: “She claims it isn’t, but who knows....”

He laughed before saying he had to go, but to call him when I got home.  I said my goodbyes and looked down into my bag and packed a few more things.  I was in the bathroom packing up necessities when Joel came in to check on me.

Me: “I just have to change and I am ready to go.”

Joel: “Ok baby.  Are you ok?”

Me: “Yea, just nervous to go home.  I don’t know how receptive my mom is going to be to you.”

I walked to the closet and grabbed a t-shirt and come light Capri pants.  He was just staring at me as I changed and threw my work clothes in the hamper.  He smiled as I zipped up my duffel bag, he reached over and grabbed it and carried it out of the bedroom.  I slid on some flip flops and threw some ballet flats in my purse. 

He grabbed his bag and had mine in hand as we headed for the elevator.   I was pretty quiet on the ride down.  I wondered how my mom was going to handle this situation....how I was going to handle this situation...

We hailed a cab and headed for the train station.  There was no turning back now....we boarded the train and were on the way to meet the parent....