Truth and Time...

After our dance fest, dinner and walk around downtown; I knew that it was just over a week before I was leaving all I knew behind me and moving away.  I was a little sad, but more excited to be starting a new chapter of my life with an amazing man.  When we got home we watched The Breakfast Club.  Just like old times!

Monroe had left for the airport the next afternoon, and I already missed him.  I was working the dinner shift, so I had a few hours to kill before I had to leave.  I grabbed my phone from my purse and plugged it in to charge.  I didn’t even pay attention to the quiet buzz it was making periodically to let me know that I had messages.

I went and showered and got myself ready for work.  I was doing anything to keep myself busy, keep my mind off missing Joel, and letting it think the worst when it came to Candice.  I knew it was not going to be so easy to shake her, but I had to put my trust somewhere, right?! I don’t think he would hurt me...

I walked out and grabbed my phone I had a few texts from Monroe letting me know he got to the airport safely, that he’d arrived safely and that he had begun his master planning of the dinner next Friday night.   I had one from a number that wasn’t in my phone; I figured it was just one of those telemarketer texts I get from places I’ve signed up.  I opened it up and a tear wet my cheek when I saw the picture and the text:

I am not so easy to say goodbye to Bitch!  You think he loves you?!  He was with me as soon as he left you.  I wouldn’t even bother packing, no point in moving out here when he’s not going to stay with you.  If I so much as see you anywhere in San Francisco...trust me it won’t be pretty.

I didn’t know what to believe.  I knew I had to ask Joel, but who would be able to tell me the truth??  And how the fuck did she get my number????  I was enraged; crying and ready to throw my entire plan out the window.  This is when I needed a friend, I needed a sounding board.  I needed someone who was technologically capable to tell me when this photo was taken.....I called into work sick, I know it was last minute but I was in no mood to be cheerful.  I called Michelle and asked her to come over.  Thirty minutes later there was a knock at my door.

Michelle: “Ok what is going on?  I got the email from Monroe about the Bon Voyage dinner....I brought ice cream, wine and beer....I didn’t know what to make of your text message.”

Me: “Come in and I will show you...”

I grabbed the beer from her arms and put them in the fridge.  On my way I grabbed my phone and some glasses, cork screw and spoons.  This was definitely a wine and ice cream moment.  I pulled up the text as I uncorked the wine.  I poured it into the glasses as she gasped.

Michelle: “What did Joel have to say? And who the fuck is this?”

Me: “That would be Candice.  Apparently she is one of his exes or something.  I won’t lie to you, I haven’t called him yet.  But one thing you should know...when we first started to entertain the idea of us being together, he was back home and he got drunk and ended up in bed with her.  We weren’t exclusive, but he said it was a mistake.  Now this shows up......”

Michelle: “Wow!  Are you working the rest of this week?  We can make and impromptu trip to San Fran if you want....I’m not starting school right away so I have some free time....”

I smiled.  Michelle was the best female friend I’ve ever had.   I seriously contemplated the idea, but I really didn’t know exactly where he lived.

Me: “No I should really talk to Joel about this.  But I want to find someone who can tell me when this picture was taken.  If it was an old picture, then I really have nothing to worry about.  If it was recent, as in the last few days, then I...”

I instantly got sad at the idea that I got played yet again.  I looked towards Michelle and she was already on the phone.  I looked at the clock and factored in the time difference and decided to call Joel. 

Joel: “Hey baby!”

Me: “Hey, I miss you!”

Joel: “You have no idea how much I miss you!  I can’t wait to have you in my arms all the time.  Come home from work and see you there, baby these 7 days can’t go fast enough!”

Me: “I have a quick question for you, and I don’t want you to get mad....”

Joel: “This sounds serious baby, what’s wrong?”

Me: “I got a text from Candice tonight...it had a picture of the two of you and a few choice words.  Have you seen her since you’ve been home?”

Joel: “Wait. WHAT?  How the FUCK did she get your number?  And to answer your question NO! Baby absolutely not!  I told you that it was over, it was way over and should never have happened again....do you believe me?”

Me: “I do believe you, I can’t be played again Joel...and I told you she wouldn’t go away so easily.  This is hard enough with me leaving all my friends and family behind, but now I have this chick gunning for me...for us?!”

Joel: “Baby please don’t let her ruin this.  I will talk...”

Me: “YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!  WE will tackle that situation together.  I just wanted to hear your side before I go crazy.  I won’t lie, I was absolutely heart broken when I saw that picture.  I just don’t want to go down that road again...but I have to go....Michelle is here.  I love you and can’t wait to see you”

Joel: “I love you too baby!  Send me that picture I want to see what she sent.  I will be there for you before you know it...”

We hung up and I felt a little better.  I knew in my heart that I couldn’t put my fears of what happened with Craig on Joel, but it I think it will always be in the back of my mind. 

Michelle: “My friend Tim is going to come over and analyze that picture.  He will be here in 15 minutes.  We will find out who’s telling the truth...."

 

 

 

Just Us...

The next day I was walking to work and when I got there I saw the ‘Help Wanted’ sign in the window.  I was a little sad by it, but also it was a turning point.  I was moving and I was happy.  I walked into the restaurant and Arianna stood in the middle of the restaurant with her hands on her hips.

Ari: “Ok WHAT is going on?”

Me: “Arianna...I am ....”

Ari: “You can’t be serious!  You just got together with him...” she interrupted me.

Me: “I don’t expect you to understand, but I would like your support.”  I said as I walked past her and back to the lockers to put my stuff away. 

I strapped on my apron and walked out to help get everything ready.  She was busying herself behind the counter and avoiding me.  Which for now was just fine, I wasn’t in the mood.  After Monroe and I spent the better part of the evening, and 2 bottles of wine, imagining my new California life; I was exhausted.  I really just wanted people to accept it and be happy for me.  They were all telling me to grow a back bone, to make my own decisions and when I finally do it is like they all have twenty thousand questions as to why I made that decision.

We worked silently through the breakfast shift, and our relief came in to take over so we could have a break.  While there should always be two people on the floor, it was not busy so I slid outside to the alley where Arianna always went for her break.

Me: “Ok are you ready to talk?  I will answer a few of your questions, but I really just want you to be happy for me.”

Ari: “I am Bella, but I am going to miss you so much!  I just wish you didn’t have to move so far away, can’t he come here?”

Me: “It may happen that we come back, but for now he needs to be out there and really other than my friends and family, what is keeping me here?  I don’t have any reason not to go and live my life.  My mom thinks I am crazy; she tried to turn Monroe on me.  In the words of one of my favourite shows ‘I can stay here and write about my life, or I can go with him and live my life’ though the writing part has no relevance but you get my drift...”

Arianna rolled her eyes; she hated Sex and the City.  But she nodded and looked up at me with a sad smile.  I leaned down to hug her and she hugged me back tightly. 

Me: “You can always come and visit us! “

Ari: “You bet I will!”

We both laughed and headed back in to finish up before we got our lunch rush.

I decided to walk home; I needed the exercise and the air.  It was a nice feeling walking in a familiar place.  It would be a long time before I could do this again, especially when I move.  On my walk home I got a text from Joel

Hey baby!  I miss you so much!!! I hope you have started packing.  I have a surprise for you when you come home to me.  Can you let me know how many boxes you are moving so I know what size truck we need to rent to haul all your clothes over?  I will be flying back out next Wednesday and we have to leave on Sunday morning, I have used up a lot of my vacation time, so unfortunately I can’t stay any longer than Sunday.   I can’t wait to see you! Call me later tonight xo.

I smiled and replied.

Hey Handsome!  I started packing the other night and came across a “care package” from the ex.  I didn’t open it, nor do I care what is in it.  I just have to tackle the shoes and bags and a few things in storage.  So far....I have 7 large plastic bins of clothes.  I think tomorrow I will tackle the storage locker and see what else I need from there.  I can’t wait until Wednesday; Monroe is back and is giving us his blessing.  He is going to plan the bon voyage dinner, so I will tell him it has to be before Sunday.  I miss you a lot! Xoxo

I put my phone away and continued the short walk to the loft.  When I got upstairs and kicked my shoes off I saw Monroe on the phone on the balcony.  I figured he was either talking to people or to my mom.  I walked over to the bedroom and lay back on the bed.  My head flopped to the side and I saw the box and note missing from the dresser.  I sat up and walked out to the living room just as Monroe walked inside. 

M: “I found that in the bedroom...mind telling me what that was about?”

Me: “I have no idea Officer.  I didn’t realize this was an interrogation.  I found it in the drawers; I didn’t even know it was there.   He must’ve hidden it in a sweater or something.  Did you open it?”

M: “I can’t even lie, yes I did.  I must say....he’s blowing quite a chunk of change on you still.”

I shook my head, not at Monroe but at the fact that Craig was spending money on me still.  I was happy I hadn’t heard from him since that drunken night; in fact I never wanted to hear from him again.  I sat down on the couch and opened the box.  Inside was a band of diamonds.  I figured that it was supposed to be my wedding band.  I don’t even know why he wanted me to have this; did he expect I would wear it?!  I shook my head in disgust and pushed the box back. 

Me: “What is wrong with this guy?  I haven’t heard from him since he showed up here drunk.  Does he expect me to wear this thing?  Maybe he should be saving his money since I am almost positive that Chloe is carrying his baby...”

M: “I called him.”

I looked at him in utter shock. 

Me: “You WHAT?”

M: “I wanted to return it to him before you got home.  I gave him a real piece of my mind though.  I told him what a piece of shit he was, and how dare he try and buy you back.  I told him you’ve moved on and to leave you alone.  He claims the baby isn’t his, because I asked.  But he has no desire to give up.  I have never been so happy that you’re moving Bella.  You need to get away from this asshole.”

I got up and hugged him tightly.  I would MOST definitely miss Monroe the most. 

Me: “Thank you!!!  Now what do we do about that?”  I nodded towards the box.

M: “Pawnbroker?” he shrugged.

I laughed.  I actually couldn’t even picture either of us at a pawnbroker trying to get rid of jewellery.  We didn’t even know where to begin. 

Me: “I need the engagement ring and earrings out of your safe.  Might as well pack those and take them with me.  Maybe I can sell them in Cali.  But for now throw that in the safe. Oh and Joel will be here Wednesday.  So if you need to go back to NYC I will be fine.  Just come back before Sunday if you can because we’re leaving Sunday.”

Monroe scooped the ring off the table and nodded as he walked towards the safe. 

M: “I will probably leave tomorrow evening, and be back next Friday.  I will plan everything from NYC.  All you have to do is show up when I tell you where.  I’ll give you all the stuff you have in here on Saturday before you leave.  But tonight....tonight you and I are going for a nice dinner and a stroll.  Just us, the way it used to be.  Now go wash up and get changed, we are leaving in a few hours.”  He winked at me and I smiled. 

He went over to the stereo and turned on the radio.  We both looked at each other and started laughing at the song came on.  And just like that....it felt like old times....Just us.

Two Out of Three....

After Duane had left I was once again alone in the big loft.  I was not in the mood to start packing just yet so I just decided to lay low.  Joel and I spent the evening texting each other and trying to imagine what our life will be like when I move there.

Tuesday I awoke and I sighed to myself and decided to move some of the bins into my room and start packing.  I had to go through things one by one and decide whether or not I was going to store it or pack it.  I started into my closet, which still held my summer stuff, and started to fold and put it into the bins.  I started to get nostalgic when I was going through my clothes.   And a lot of memories came flooding back.  I held up a tank top that has John Bender (The Breakfast Club) hoisting his fist in the air on it and I was brought back to when Monroe and I had first sat down and watched the movie. Of course it was well after it was out of the theatres as Monroe and I would’ve been 4 or 5 at the time of its release.  I smiled to myself and put it back in to the closet, I was going to wear that tomorrow when Monroe came home.  I knew I didn’t have the time to sit and reminisce so I just kept packing.

I had made my way through most of my closet leaving a few items out to wear over the next two weeks; I grabbed a marker and wrote ‘Summer Clothes’ on the 3 bins.  I grabbed two bins and moved towards the dressers.  I opened the first drawer which had a bunch of sweaters in it; I went through them and piled them on my bed.  I had a pile that I was sure I wouldn’t need as they were thick and heavy, definitely not California weather; the rest had dress pants and other fall weather clothes.  I knew my winter gear was in storage, so there was no rush to go there and sort it out.  I put the lid on the second bin and labelled it ‘Sweaters and Fall Clothes’.  The other bin I labelled ‘Storage’.  I knew I could call Duane to come move it to storage, but I would wait until later in the week to do that.  I sighed when I looked and saw the bins piling up in the bedroom.  I hadn’t even tackled my shoe and bag collection yet.....

I was busying myself going through the second dresser and packing away t-shirts and socks, etc.  I reached into the drawer and found a little box. I knew I hadn’t put it there and my ring and other jewellery from Craig was in Monroe’s safe; which in turn reminded me I had to get that from him when he came home.  There was a note wrapped around the box, so I figured I would start there...

Dear Isabella,

I slid this into the boxes of stuff your friends and brother came to retrieve from our home.  I know you never want to hear from me again, but I can’t let you go without a fight.  I will always love you and that will never change.  I fucked up and I know it, but maybe one day soon you can find it in your heart to forgive me and maybe love me as much as I love you.

Xo C

I didn’t know whether or not I wanted to open it, it had been a long time since our last encounter and I really had not seen him at all since.  I left it on the dresser with the note and kept packing up the last of the dresser.  I could care less what he had ‘snuck’ into my boxes.  Reality was, he did fuck up and there was nothing he could do now to fix it.  I had decided that I had done enough for the first day.  I didn’t want to pack every single thing away just yet.  But I had decided that I wanted to stay in and just be by myself.  So I ordered in some Chinese food and turned on Netflix.  I knew the word would get out, but I was not going to answer any more questions.  I knew the true interrogation was about 12 hours away from arriving.

***********************************

I awoke Wednesday morning and put on some jean skirt and my Bender tank top.  I tied my hair up in a messy bun and puttered around the loft.  I wasn’t sure what time Monroe was coming in, he wouldn’t give me his flight plan, and I guess he was afraid I would disappear before he got there.  I decided to run down to the little deli market and get some stuff to put together a platter for us to snack on.  On my way back I got a few bottles of our favourite wine to go with everything.

I was upstairs putting together the platter and had the wine chilling in the fridge when I heard the elevator start to come up.  I set the platter up on the island and grabbed 2 glasses for the wine.  I took a deep breath and got ready for the inquisition.

M: “Isabella? Are you home?” he called from the doorway

Me: “Nope she ran away to California before you got here...”

M: “Ha-ha very funny!”

I pulled the cork out of the wine as Monroe moved around to the kitchen.  He smiled at me and I smiled back.  I realized I would really miss this, him coming back home and us crashing together.  He put his bag against the wall and came over and hugged me hard, and I hugged him back.

M: “I am sorry that I flipped out.  Daphne called me in a tizzy, I was busy working and stressed out and I took it out on you.  But you have to fill me in on what is going on with you and Mr. Man.  I really hope you are making this decision for you and not for him.”

Me: “Monroe I need to move away from all of this.  I am doing it for me, I am finally happy with Joel and yes it is a crazy move, but how will I know unless I try?  Please don’t try and persuade me otherwise, I really need to live and learn.”  I said as I poured us some wine. 

Monroe just nodded in silence as he moved around the island and popped a piece of cheese in his mouth.  I watched him carefully, knowing at any minute he would pounce and try and keep me here.  I sipped my wine and sat down on a bar stool.  I took a piece of cheese and popped it into my mouth as I watched him pace around the room.  I was seriously waiting for him to go bat shit crazy on me.....

M: “Ok baby girl if this is what you need then I will support you 100%.  I will work on Daphne, she will come around eventually.  So when do you leave?”

I was in utter shock.  Did he just really give me his blessing?  And so easily?! I responded quickly before he could change his mind....

Me: “2 weeks.  But I need your help.  Joel will be back next week sometime to get me, and I want to plan a nice dinner for everyone to come to so I can tell them the news and we can say bon voyage.   And since you have panache for planning......” I batted my eyelashes at him with a big smile....

M: “I am going to send you off with a bang....” he winked.

Two Weeks Notice

I walked into the restaurant and I saw my boss, Sam, at the register.  He looked up and smiled at me and I smiled back, this wasn’t going to be easy but I knew I had to do it.  I walked towards the register, thankful that Arianna wasn’t there, and asked Sam if he had a minute to talk.  He nodded and walked towards his office; but told one of the waitresses to watch the register he would be right back.

Sam: “Well you look rested.  I am guessing you had a nice weekend off?”

Me: “I did, it was a good trip home ... sort of.  But I really need to tell you something and I don’t know how you will react.”

Sam: “Isabella you are one of the best waitresses I’ve had.  You really became part of the family when you started back in here full time. You can tell me anything.”

Me: “Thank you Sam.  I am really glad you feel that way but it makes this all the more harder to do.  Sam....I am giving you two weeks’ notice.  I am moving to San Francisco with my boyfriend....”

Sam looked at me silently in shock.  His eyes bulged out of his head, his mouth dropped open, and the room went absolutely silent. 

Me: “Sam please say something....”

Sam: “I...Oh wow.  I wasn’t expecting that.  I thought maybe you wanted to cut back on your hours....Geez.  I really don’t want to lose you but I appreciate you giving me two weeks.  Wow!  I really wasn’t expecting that.”

Me: “I know it’s very fast and very shocking.  But it’s something I need to do for myself.  I considered asking for a leave of absence, but the only way I can give Joel a fair shot is to quit all together.  But I will work here for two weeks while you find someone.”

Sam: “We will definitely miss you!  And you will always have a job here if you choose to come back.  But I really hope you are happy and I wish you the best!”

He reached across the desk and held out his hand.  We shook and I got up and walked out of the office.  I didn’t have to work until mid week, so as I left I decided to go and grab a few bins for packing from the department store. 

While I was walking through the department store pushing my cart with storage bins, I decided to check my phone.  I figured I must’ve had responses.  While the only person I cared hearing from was Joel, I knew there would be other responses.  To my surprise my mother had not responded.  I really thought she might try, but she had Monroe on his way home so I guess she just figured she would let her soldier do her dirty work.  I smiled instantly when I saw Joel’s text.  He just let he me know he got home safely and was going to make some room for my obscene amount of clothes, and of course that he loved me.  I chuckled to myself and responded in true smart ass fashion telling him to get a walk in closet built before I get there.

I put my phone away, despite the texts from Monroe and Duane waiting for me to respond and headed for the check out.  I am loving the new self check outs; I don’t have to wait in line forever anymore.  I realized I had more than I anticipated, so I decided to call Duane.  I waited outside the store and he pulled up and got out to help me load my stuff into his truck.

I got in and I knew he had a bunch of questions; the tension was so thick between us...

Me: “Ok go ahead and ask I know you’re trying not to...”

Duane: “Ask you what?”

Me: “Don’t play coy!  I got your texts.  You are white knuckling the steering wheel, so you obviously have reservations....so let’s hear them...”

Duane: “Ok, this just seems so fast Bella.  Are you sure you’re not making a mistake?  I am not going to try and even talk you out of it; I just want to understand where you are coming from...”

Me: “I just think I need a fresh start.  And I am not going to get that here, not with Craig and Chloe around and everyone who knows what happened.  Duane, I need to live my life now, I am not getting any younger and I can’t just do things to make people happy.  I have to be happy, and I am not happy here...not anymore.”

Duane: “Ok.  So moving 3000 miles away from everyone is going to make you happy?”

Me: “I don’t know, but I won’t know unless I try.  I don’t want to live with always wondering what if.  I have a chance to go and be happy and I am going to take it.  If it doesn’t work, I can always come home.”

Duane: “Ok then.  What do you need help with?”

I looked at him in shock.  I thought he was going to ask more questions than that.

Me: “So that’s it?  That’s all you have to ask?”

Duane: “Bella, I would love nothing more than for you to stay here.  But it’s selfish of me to ask you to stay.  It would only be for me, and I can’t do that to you.  I kind of understand why, and I will support you.”

Tears welled in my eyes.  Someone finally understood why I needed to do this.  I wanted to hug him but he was driving and I didn’t want to cause an accident.   We arrived at the loft and he helped me upstairs with the bins and other items I got. 

Duane: “So how long until you leave?”

Me: “I just gave my two weeks’ notice at the restaurant, so ... two weeks.”

Duane: “Are you moving your stuff out of storage?”

Me: “No I am going to leave it here for now.  Until I see what we might need out in Cali.  I will leave you a cheque to cover the expenses, if you wouldn’t mind paying it for me.”

Duane nodded and turned to head out.  I knew he didn’t like expressing his emotions much; he’s always been the strong one. 

Me: “Joel will be back in a week and we want everyone to come together so I can say farewell.  I won’t say goodbye because I will be back and goodbye seems so final.  Will you come when I plan it?”

Duane: “I wouldn’t miss it for the world baby girl!” 

He leaned down and hugged me tight, and I hugged him back.  While I was wrapped up in his hug I thought to myself; I think I would miss him the most...maybe I can convince him to move out there one day...

First Things First....

I went back upstairs to the loft, a few tears running down my cheeks.  I knew that it was only a week before Joel came back to get me, but that was going to be a long week.  I got to the loft and it was eerily quiet.  I walked into the bedroom and turned on my phone for the first time in twenty four hours.  I knew there was going to be a lot of texts and voicemails, but I needed to face them at sometime.  I turned on the stereo and plugged in my mp3 player and set it on shuffle.  I heard my phone going ballistic on the coffee table.  I knew I should be packing, but I wanted to get the question and answer period over with.  I picked up my phone once it went silent; text messages, emails, and who knows how many voice mails.  I decided to conquer the text messages first...

Duane:

Mom told me you are moving to California with Joel.  Are you nuts?  You barely know this guy, while yes I like him better than Craig, this is just way too fast! I’ll be home tomorrow, we need talk.

Ok I am home and your phone is going straight to voicemail.  Mom is going nuts, Monroe is ready to fly home, where are you???

Ok I am home; call me when you have a chance.  I am not going to try and stop you despite what mom said I just want to hear you out!

Monroe:

WTF!! Your mom called me about ready to explode.  I told you not to make any rash decisions.  You better call me back ASAP or I am coming home.  Do not think you are leaving that loft.  I told you go and play house for two weeks, not up and move!! 

Why aren’t you answering me? 

Ok I have calmed Daphne down, but seriously Bella this isn’t like you.  You are making such rash decisions.  Did you go straight to California?  Why are you not answering your phone?

Ok I am coming home this week.  I would be there now if I didn’t have so much work to do.  Thank goodness my boss is being very understanding about this.  You better be there when I get there.  We have to talk!

Ok I am booked for a flight Wednesday and I will be there in the afternoon.  If you aren’t working I will see you at the loft.  I hope your phone is just off or out of power.  I am really starting to worry; it is not like you to not answer.

Mom:

 If you think that little note you left was going to calm me down...think again.  You are NOT moving!  I have told Duane and Monroe and they will be there to stop you from making such a stupid decision. 

Oh you think you’re clever turning off your phone? 

Arianna:

Hey Lady!  Hope your trip home was good!  You are scheduled to be in Thursday for the breakfast run with yours truly!  Can’t wait to see you and hear all about your trip!

Joel:

Hey baby!  I am at the airport and am waiting for my flight. I can’t believe in one week we will be together permanently.  I love you baby and can’t wait to wake up with you next to me.  I know this is going to be a hard thing to do.  Everyone is against us, which I wished wasn’t the case, but we can be strong together.  They will all realize soon enough that we are perfect for each other.  I love you and can’t wait.  Get your ass packing! Xoxo

I sighed and smiled at Joel’s text and responded to him first. 

Me to Joel:

Hi baby!  I hope you have a safe flight.  I just turned on my phone and yea well I am overwhelmed with messages.  Daphne and Monroe are going to try and put the kibosh on this/us.  Monroe will be here Wednesday.  Duane is home and I will meet up with him at some point.  He is not on the war path, he just wants to talk.  I love you and can’t wait to see you and be with you always! Xo

Me to Duane:

Hi Duane!  I am home now; I turned my phone off and spent some time with Joel before he had to fly back.  If you want to come by, you’re more than welcome.  But I am not going to let you try to talk to me out of moving....

Me to Arianna:

Hey Lady!! The trip home was ‘eventful’ at best.  I will see you Thursday, I have some news but I will not discuss it over the phone or text.  So you will just have to wait and see me Thursday! ;)

Me to Monroe:

Ok don’t send the police I am alive. I turned my phone off.  I will see you Wednesday and I agree there is a lot we need to talk about.  But I refuse to do it through text or on the phone.  We will talk when you get back.  And thanks for calming Daphne down, but by the ‘tone’ of her texts, she’s on the war path.

Me to Mom:

Well it didn’t take you long to seek your minions on me did it?  Mom I love you and I always will...but you have to let me make my own decisions.  I am not going to justify them anymore.  It is my life and it is time I lived by my OWN rules.  I can’t live my life to make you happy; I have to be happy living my life.  With that being said, no matter what you or anyone else says, I AM MOVING!

I nodded with finality as I sent that message.  I got up and changed and decided to conquer the first thing...quitting my job.  I wanted to be professional and give my boss two weeks notice and given it was early in the week; I would be able to do so.  I grabbed my phone, my keys and my purse.  I headed downstairs and walked towards the restaurant.  On my way to the restaurant, I checked my voicemail. Well rather I just deleted all of them.  I knew who they were from and I didn’t care...delete delete delete.....I was done.

 

7 days...

I awoke to Joel cooking breakfast in the kitchen; the smell was amazing and woke me up out of my slumber.  We had spent most of the evening after our pillow fight entwined with one another (wink *)).  I was sated and satisfied that I could do this ...every day with this man.  I slid out of bed and put on some yoga pants and a t-shirt.  I walked out to the kitchen tying my hair up into a messy bun; I snuck up behind him and wrapped my arms around him, my cheek to his back.

Me: “Do you have to go home today?”

Joel: “It’s only for a week, which gives you plenty of time to pack up and get ready to move.  I don’t like waking up without you and can’t wait to have you next to me each morning.”

Truth be told, I was a little worried about sending him back to face Candice.  I trusted him, but her I knew was not going to go away without a fight.  I sighed and pulled away, I reached for a mug to make myself some tea when he turned and pointed to the island where he had my tea waiting.  He slapped my ass, to which I squealed and tucked my hips under me, and I walked towards the island and sat down.  I sipped my tea and watched him work in the kitchen.  If this was what our life would be like in California, I could get used to it.  He produced two plates of eggs, bacon, and toast and sat across from me.   I tried to hide my nerves over him going back home, but I knew he could see right through my facade. 

Joel: “Baby what’s wrong?  Something is bugging you...”

Me: “Nothing, I am just sad you’re leaving.”

Joel: “Isabella...that’s not it and you know it.”

I sighed. I didn’t want to sound like the crazy girlfriend but I didn’t want to hide my feelings.

Me: “I am worried about Candice.  I know we’ve solidified our relationship, but given what has happened in my past and that if her answering your cell phone was any indication of how she is....”

Joel: “Isabella I am not Craig.  I know how much that hurt, and well that night with her hurt you again.  But I am not going to cheat on you. She knows who my heart belongs to....and it’s not her”

Me: “I know women like that Joel.  She’s not going to just accept it.  She is not just going to fade away....”

Joel: “Isabella you have to trust me.  I will be back for you in one week...unless you want to fly home with me tonight....”

He cocked his eyebrow and I giggled.  I did want to go with him right then, but I also wanted to pack up my belongings, and face to face talk with my boss, and I wanted a night out with my friends before I left.

Me: “You know I would love to, but I have loose ends I need to tie here.  And I want a nice dinner with my friends before I go.  So maybe we can do the dinner when you come back, so they can meet you and then we can head home.  What do you think?”

Joel: “I think I can’t wait to get you back to our home in Cali.  And I would love to meet your friends; the dinner sounds like a great idea.”

I smiled and finished up my tea and breakfast.  I knew this was going to come as quite a shock for my friends, but they have always been my biggest supporters.  And I knew they would love Joel as much as I did.  I took the empty plates to the sink, and I felt him come up behind me, nuzzling my neck with the scruff on his chin.  I turned to face him and he blocked me in with his arms, my forehead on his chin, and my arms wrapped around him.  We stood like that for what seemed like an eternity.  We both knew it wasn’t good bye, but it didn’t get any easier when he had to leave.  We still had plenty of time before he had to be at the airport, and I had decided then that I didn’t want to waste any of it. 

Me: “Can we just spend the rest of the day in the loft?  I just want to be with you, and not share you with anyone. “

Joel nodded and we made our way to the couch, he was on the bottom and I was on top snuggled into his chest, we turned on Netflix and picked a mindless comedy.  I set my stereo as the alarm, in case we fell asleep, and Joel was trailing his fingers up and down my spine.  I loved just being with him, we didn’t need to have sex, we could just be together and be content.

We must’ve drifted off to sleep because I heard the stereo go off.  I turned head and gripped him tighter; I didn’t want him to leave.  I wanted this moment to last forever.  He tickled my sides and lifted me up so he could get up and get his stuff.  I got up, and sat on the couch.  I had offered to go with him to the airport, but he declined.  He doesn’t like to see me cry and he knew that I would cry at the airport.  We went down in the elevator and I walked with him outside.  He leaned down and kissed me softly, and then the kiss got deeper as I got on my tip toes and wrapped my arms around his neck.  I was trying to consume as much as him as I could.

He pulled away gently and hailed a cab.  He opened the door and put his bag inside and then he pulled me tight to him, he held me tight and then leaned down so we were forehead to forehead......

“Seven days Bella....Seven days until we never have to do this again...”

Blowing off Steam

Joel stood staring at me shocked.  He didn’t even know it was coming.

Joel: “Really? You’re going to come back with me?”

I nodded and smiled and he hugged me and laughed in my ear in disbelief.  My mom narrowed her eyes at me and shook her head.  She stood and walked out of the room and up to her bedroom.  I thought she might’ve had something to say, but I really didn’t want to hear it.  I said all I wanted to say and it was time for me to move.

I wanted to go home to the loft.  I needed to pack and get things in order.  And if I knew my mother she would be on the phone to Monroe as we were leaving.  I left a note for my mom on the counter...

          Dear Mom,

          I know this may come as quite a shock to you right now.  You’re little girl standing up to you and doing what she wants.  But I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate you and love you for everything you have done for me.  But it is time for me to spread my wings and learn to fly on my own.  If you want to talk or come and visit you know you are always welcome.  But I need to do this for me. Please understand.  I love you!

                   Isabella xo

I called a cab and we waited outside.  I made sure to lock the door behind me before I left, and we sat on the steps as we waited.  I felt like half the weight of the world was lifted.   Now it was just getting my stuff packed, quitting my job and getting to California.  I turned off my cell phone and shoved it in my bag.  I was not going to answer any questions, not until I was ready anyway.

********************

Our train ride home was quick and painless.  Joel held my hand the entire ride home.  I had hoped I wouldn’t chicken out on my decision when I got back to the loft.  We got to the train station and walked through the station hand in hand.  Joel had a huge smile on his face the entire way home.  I looked at him and he was glowing.  It made me smile to myself, maybe I did make the right decision.  We got a cab and headed to the loft, and I have to say I needed some time alone with Joel. 

We couldn’t get inside fast enough before Joel pinned me to a wall and kissed me with hunger.  He was grinding himself into me and ran his hand up my thigh and under my sundress.  I tugged at his shirt and pulled it over his head and threw it across the room.  I tried to push him towards the bedroom but he pinned me against the wall.   He was kissing down my neck and gently nipping at my skin.  I whispered bedroom and he gripped the end of my dress and pulled it over my head and threw it.  He gripped both of my thighs and pulled me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist.  He walked us towards the bedroom, his lips never leaving mine.  He kneeled on the bed and gently put me on, before he stood back and quickly removed his jeans.  He reached into the nightstand and grabbed a condom and threw it on the bed next to me.  He crawled over me and kicked my legs apart with his knee.  I was biting my lower lip as he pushed his boxers down.  I honestly couldn’t wait to have him inside me.  I went to undo my bra and he stopped me and leaned over and pinned my hands to the bed.  The tip of his penis was rubbing against my panty covered slit before I felt him remove his hands from mine and reach for the condom.  He slid it on and then shifted my panties to the side and thrust himself inside me quick and hard.  I moaned very loudly, and Joel gave me no time to adjust before we he was thrusting harder and harder; I knew it wouldn’t be long for either of us at this point.  It was animalistic and intense and I felt my orgasm build.  The headboard was smacking against the wall, Joel was growling and grunting and I was practically screaming into my orgasm.  My hands gripped his back and I scraped my nails across as I came, and Joel growled loudly and went tense.  Both of us were panting as he withdrew and collapsed next to me.  It was almost like the very first time we got together; passionate and all consuming.  Joel got up to dispose of the condom in the bathroom and I got up to get my phone from the living room.  I debated turning it on, I had made my decision and I didn’t want to have to justify it anymore.  When Joel came back and saw the phone in my hand he took it from me and put it on the dresser.

Joel: “Nope, not tonight.  Tonight is about us and me figuring out how to get all this stuff out of here and to our house...”  He said with a laugh.

Me: “All I have is clothes and a few items in storage, which can stay in storage.”

Joel: “Well then we only need an 18 wheeler...”

I hit him with a pillow as he laughed.  We laughed together as we had a mini pillow fight and I was never more content than that moment.