Is this too fast?

Arianna stood shell shocked at my statement.  It was almost as if she was searching for the right words to say or even say anything at all.  I willed her to say something to me.  I needed an outside perspective on this........

Me: “Say something!”

Arianna: “I ... wow!  Are you sure you’re ready for him to meet your family already?  It hasn’t been that long Bella.  You two barely got together and he’s already to meet your family and possibly move you away?”

Me: “How did you know about him asking me to move?”

Arianna: “I heard him the other day.  Bella this is WAY too fast!!”

Me: “I thought so too, but he really wants to meet my mom and family.  How do I say no?  I do love him, but I don’t know if it’s just because I don’t want to be alone or if it is indeed a true love.”

Arianna: “You need to stand up for yourself girl!  I thought you finally grew a backbone when you broke up with Craig, but it’s almost like it disappeared and the old push over Bella is back.  If you don’t want him to go, then don’t.  You can dictate what happens too!”

Me: “What if I lose him?  I can’t go through yet another heartbreak right now.”

Arianna: “And you’re going to what? Just do as he says?  He’s not in the army anymore and you are not one of his cadets.  If he loves you, like he says he does, then he will understand and give you some time and space.  You gave yourself up once before...don’t do it again!”

I nodded.  I knew she was right, this was WAY too fast.  But I didn’t know how to stop it.  I agreed with both of them, Joel came back into my life for a reason, and this was going at lightning speed.  I knew I had to talk to Joel when I got home. 

The shift went by very fast.  My boss gave me the green light to leave early since I had been early to work every day and even stayed late when we had an unusual rush of people.  On my way home I called my doctor to make an appointment, stopped at the drug store and picked up condoms and a Plan B; which I quickly took on my way home.  When I got back to the loft, Joel was sitting on the couch watching TV. The loft was spotless, and there was some fresh flowers sitting on the coffee table.  I smiled knowing I could get used to this, but I knew we had to talk.  I saw his duffel packed and ready to go by the couch.  As I came in he got up and walked towards me.

Joel: “Welcome home baby!”

Me: “Thank you!  I see you cleaned the place.  It looks good.”

Joel: “Well I was bored and figured you needed a break so I cleaned.  You just have to pack and we can be on our way.”

Me: “About that...ummm....are you sure you want to do this?  It seems really fast.  We haven’t been together that long and...”

Joel: “Baby, I just want to meet and talk to your mom.  We aren’t going to get married tomorrow.  Are you having a change of heart?”

Me: “This all just seems so fast.  I don’t know how she is going to react.  It may not be good.”

He nodded and I could see that he didn’t like that I was backing down.  I needed to talk to the one person who could reason with me...Monroe.  He was the one person who has seen me through everything.  I know I should be able to make this decision on my own.  But I know Monroe would never steer me down the wrong path.  He stopped my impending marriage....he could stop this if that is what was needed.  I realized then that I had missed Monroe more than ever.  He was my rock, my soul mate; even though he’s gay.

I told Joel I had to make a phone call and he nodded and went back to the couch.  I walked to the bedroom and closed the door.  I had hoped Monroe wasn’t busy, but I needed his opinion.  So I called him and of course he answered my phone.  I could hear commotion in the background...

M: “Hey good lookin!  How’s Mr. Man?

Me: “He’s good.  I miss you!! It sounds like you’re busy.  Should I call back?”

M: “no way!  I am almost done styling this shoot and then I am free.  Just bear with me for 5 minutes.”

I listened on the other end of the phone and grabbed my duffel bag and started packing. He was barking orders and telling the models to calm down.  Finally he sighed and the background noise dropped.

M: “Ok, what’s up?”

Me: “I need your opinion, your honest opinion.”

M: “Ok shoot!”

Me: “Joel wants to meet mom....this weekend.  He’s asked me to move to California....Arianna thinks it’s too fast, mom is going to grill me when I get there.....your opinion matters most.....am I making a mistake?”

M: “Well it has been fast, and you guys weren’t exactly exclusive while he was back in California.  But I can’t tell you what to do Bella.”

Me: “Yes you can!  You are the one person who could tell me the sky is pink and I wouldn’t argue with you.....please don’t sugar coat this.....tell me”

M: “It is fast Bella.  You moving right now, out of the question.  But you can do a trial run.  Just don’t rush into anything.  You have a long way to go to trusting again after what Douche Bag McGee and Miss Whore Bag did to you.  I don’t want to see you isolated away from all of us.  If he wants to meet mom, I think she can tear a strip or two off him to find out what he’s all about.  I would come home but I am super slammed right now.  Just tread lightly.  Do not move!  You are not leaving that loft permanently.  Just save some cash go and visit for a couple of weeks and see how it goes playing house.  If it goes well then wait another few months and then move...but both of you move so that neither of you has the advantage.  He leaves California you leave Ontario.”

Me: “So going home isn’t too fast?”

M: “Do you think your mom can’t handle him??? Please that woman could make a cop nervous.”

I laughed because it was true.  She was very intimidating to people she didn’t know. 

Me: “I know you’re right!  Oh by the way Chloe.....is pregnant!”

M: “Oh girl please tell me it’s Craig’s....”

Me: “She claims it isn’t, but who knows....”

He laughed before saying he had to go, but to call him when I got home.  I said my goodbyes and looked down into my bag and packed a few more things.  I was in the bathroom packing up necessities when Joel came in to check on me.

Me: “I just have to change and I am ready to go.”

Joel: “Ok baby.  Are you ok?”

Me: “Yea, just nervous to go home.  I don’t know how receptive my mom is going to be to you.”

I walked to the closet and grabbed a t-shirt and come light Capri pants.  He was just staring at me as I changed and threw my work clothes in the hamper.  He smiled as I zipped up my duffel bag, he reached over and grabbed it and carried it out of the bedroom.  I slid on some flip flops and threw some ballet flats in my purse. 

He grabbed his bag and had mine in hand as we headed for the elevator.   I was pretty quiet on the ride down.  I wondered how my mom was going to handle this situation....how I was going to handle this situation...

We hailed a cab and headed for the train station.  There was no turning back now....we boarded the train and were on the way to meet the parent....

 

 

Meet the Parent?

We got back to the loft and when we got inside Joel went to the fridge and got out the wine I had in there, he poured us both a glass and we sat at the island.  We were both trying to figure out what to say to each other.   After both of us not speaking for a good 10 minutes...

Joel: “Ok let me start then.  I want to take you away from all of this.  Your past will continue to haunt you here.  Not that you have anything to hide, but Chloe and Craig will always be around somewhere.”

Me: “I understand your concern, but this is where my life is.  I just enrolled into school for the next semester.  I am trying to not run from this.  And we haven’t been together that long.  Your concern for me is Craig and Chloe....my concern for you is Candice.  We both know she isn’t going to just accept that it’s over, and if I show up all of a sudden she will cause problems...”

Joel: “No she won’t!  It’s over between her and me....”

Me: “I believe you Joel.  But as a woman, she’s not over you.  Not by a long shot.  Baby look I am not trying to push you towards her, but if she’s was that angry on the phone, what do you think she will be like in person?”

He didn’t know what to say at this point.  I went around and stood between his legs, resting my arms on his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around me.

Me: “I want to be with you, please believe me.  But I just got out of that farce with Craig.  My mom has just come to terms with that....we don’t even know what it would take for either of us to move.  Yes I can waitress anywhere, and go to school anywhere, my family doesn’t even know about you...that is unless Monroe has opened his big mouth.”

Joel: “Well let’s rectify that....let’s go meet your family.  This weekend before I fly home....if they give you their blessing will you come with me?  Baby just quit your job, I can support us for a while.....Please give me/us a chance.  When you know you know.  Something brought us back together and I am not tempting fate again...”

Me: “I...ummm....”

Joel: “Look its Wednesday already, I am leaving Sunday.  Let’s just go home meet your family and then we can talk about what our next move is when we get back.”

Me: “Let me call home first....”

Joel nodded and smiled like he had won.  I shook my head and went to grab my phone from my purse.  I went out on the balcony and called home and got the machine.

Me: “Hey Mom it’s me.  I was hoping to come home for a visit this weekend.  Let me know if that’s ok.”

I was just about to hang up when I heard my mom say

Mom: “Isabella are you still there?”

Me: “Yes mom, how are you?”

Mom: “I am ecstatic that you are coming home for a visit!  When can we expect you?”

Me: “Well I am off as of Thursday so probably Thursday night and we will leave Saturday?”

Mom: “We? Who’s coming with you? Monroe?”

Me: “Umm no.  You will see on Thursday.”

Mom: “Isabella Elizabeth you tell me right now!”

Me: “I will tell you his name and you get to ask no questions until I get home.  Deal?”

Mom: “Fine!”

Me: “His name is Joel.  And that is all you’re getting.  I will see you Thursday night.  Can you pick us up at the train station?”

Mom: “Yes.  Call me when you’re close.  I love you and expect a full explanation as soon as you get home.”

Me: “Yes mother!  I love you see you Thursday.”

We hung up and I walked back into the loft and told Joel we would be leaving Thursday after work.  I had the weekend off anyway so I didn’t have to book anymore time off.  He smiled and was about to ask me a bunch of questions but I held my hand up.

Me: “No questions.  My mom is not crazy, but I am going to let you walk into this blind.  She is not going to be receptive at first, but you will just have to charm her.”

He nodded even though I am sure he wanted a little bit of background.  But I was just way too exhausted to entertain that idea.  I walked to the kitchen looking for food; I was all of a sudden starving.  I looked through the cupboards and found a pasta mix and decided it was good enough.  Joel came in and helped.  He found some chicken breast and veggies and diced it all up and I cooked the sauce and pasta.  We pulled it together and made a semi nutritious meal and it didn’t taste half bad.  One thing I loved about Joel is we didn’t have to communicate every second.  We could move in silence with each other and know that nothing was wrong. 

After the dishes were done, we decided to just have a low key night again.  I wasn’t in the mood to be out and social.  We must’ve fallen asleep on the couch, as I was awoken by the snow on the television and us snuggled together on the couch.  I gently shook him and nodded towards the bedroom.  He got up sleepily and we walked slowly to the bedroom.  We crawled into bed after stripping down to our underwear and fell back asleep. 

My buzzer was going off early again, another morning shift for me.  I went to slide out of bed and I felt his grip tighten on me.  I looked over and he was smiling at me, and shaking his head.  I tried again to get out of bed and he gripped me tight and pulled me back.  I was giggling and trying to wriggle out of his grasp.  One of his hands slid up from my hip to my breast and he started to thumb my hard nipple.  I bit my lower lip and moaned softly.  He started to kiss my neck and moved up and nibbled my ear lobe.  I knew I was a goner, and I was probably going to be late. 

He leaned over me and kissed me deeply.  I moaned into his mouth and then he pulled away and rolled me on my stomach and pulled my hips up.  He ripped my thong off like it was paper and started to rub my little nub.  I was already wet when he pulled his boxers down and slid into me.  I groaned as he filled me up, and then without warning Joel started to rail me....HARD.  I was in ecstasy.  He knew exactly the right tempo to get me going I was moaning so loud for him to do it harder.  But he was clearly in control of this; he slapped my ass when I demanded it harder.  I squealed with delight and then he started to pound me harder and harder.  I swear the bed was thumping against the wall so hard I thought we might break it.  He reached over and started to rub my little nub and I was a goner, I started to cum so hard I white knuckled the sheets, Joel was a goner after that and growled and came inside me.  He held himself in there for a few minutes and then slowly started to pull out.  Ok it was unprotected, but man it was so hot!

I collapsed on the bed and he lay beside me.

Me: “where did that come from?”

Joel: “I needed you last night but I didn’t want to push.  I am sorry we didn’t use a condom but I needed to be inside you.”

Me: “It happens.  But we have to be more careful.  I am not on birth control, which I will have to rectify as soon as possible."

I looked at the clock and gasped as I jumped out of bed and ran to the shower.  I had 30 minutes to get ready and get to work.  I showered fast and came out running around the bedroom grabbing my clothes and quickly throwing them on.  Joel threw on sweats and a t-shirt as I quickly tried to make myself look normal.  I watching the clock...15 minutes left.  I slapped on some mascara, grabbed my purse, apron, hair tie and my glasses since I didn’t have time for contacts today.  I was running towards the elevator when I saw Joel had it there and waiting. 

We quickly walked down the street and I gave him a quick peck goodbye and ran into the restaurant with minutes to spare.  Thank goodness we didn’t have to clock in.  I quickly helped the other waitress set up and got ready for the morning rush.  I was on break around noon when Arianna came in.  She walked to the back and out to the alley where I was sitting enjoying some sunshine.

Arianna: “So lady!  Big plans for your weekend off?”

Me: “Funny you should ask...”

Arianna: “What are you getting married to that hunk?”

Me: “No I am going home....he wants to meet the parent...”

****Don't forget to vote my lovely readers!! And Please comment....should Bella be taking home Joel so soon?"

What Should I do?

The next morning I woke with Joel practically covering my body.  His head was on my chest and he was hugging me close.  My alarm was blaring and I knew I had to get up out of bed.  I had to work the early shift; I slid out from under Joel and hopped into the shower.  When I came out he was sitting up in bed rubbing his eyes.

Joel: “Where are you going?”

Me: “I have to work the early shift, go back to sleep...I will be home shortly.”

Joel: “I’ll walk you” He slid out of bed and started to get dressed.

Me: “No stay here, I’ll be fine. I was doing this long before you came around...”

Joel shot me a look.  “NO I will walk you!  It’s dark out still.”

I knew not to mess with him, even though I had wondered what angry sex would be like with him.  I shook my head and got my mind back on track.  I slid on my black skirt and black polo shirt, put on some basic makeup; eyeliner and mascara.  Slid on my ring, grabbed my apron, hair tie and purse.  He was dressed and sitting on the bed.  I moved over to him and he slid his hands up my thighs and grabbed my ass. 

Joel: “This is far too sexy for you to wear to work.”

Me: “Well this is how I make my tips, being sexy” I rolled my eyes.

He slapped my ass playfully and we moved towards the elevator.  I knew I had to get going but I would give anything to crawl back into bed with this man.  We walked hand in hand to work, it wasn’t too far.  I asked if he wanted to come in and get some breakfast but he declined.  Joel pushed me against the brick wall and kissed me as if his life depended on it.  His hand was creeping up my skirt again and gripped my ass.  I giggled and pulled away; he smiled and turned to walk back home.

I got inside and Arianna was there already.  She smiled at me and I blushed as I moved to the back and put my stuff in my locker.  I tied my hair back and put on my apron and went back out to help set up.  We turned the radio up loud and were dancing around and setting up for breakfast.  I had long forgotten about those texts from Craig, it had been months since I had heard from him before that, let alone seen him.  And I wanted to keep it that way.  The past is in the past, and that is exactly where it was going to stay. 

We turned down the radio and opened the doors to the restaurant.  We had the coffee freshly brewed and were awaiting our usual rush of suits coming to get their coffee on their way to work.   After the morning rush, we had our morning regulars come in and order their breakfast.  I always marvelled at the elder couples that came in daily to have breakfast, lunch or dinner, and how much in love they were.  I wished I could have that one day.  As I was walking towards the next table, I introduced myself and asked if they were ready to order a beverage.  When the menu dropped there was Chloe...in all her PREGNANT glory.  I rolled my eyes and went to walk away when she called out to me. 

Chloe: “Bella wait please!”

Me: “What do you want?” I said quietly through gritted teeth.

Chloe: “I miss us!  Please I know I made a huge mistake, but you know how charismatic he is!  I fell for it again and again and ...”

Me: “NO what you did was unforgivable.  I honestly thought you had gotten the message before.  But clearly you are as dense as the table you are sitting at.  I see you are pregnant, I hope that you and Craig will be very happy together....you are what 6 months along?”

I walked away and asked Arianna to take the table.  I knew Arianna would not be pleasant to her as she knew exactly who she was.  I saw Chloe walk out with her shades on, and her face all blotchy.  Arianna came back to the bar where I was standing guard and she told me that Chloe had opened the flood gates when I left.  She started crying and saying it wasn’t Craig’s baby.  That she had learned her lesson after Craig’s mother called her every name in the book.  I just rolled my eyes, like I could believe anything that came out of her mouth anyway.

We went about the day, which was way busier than usual.  The tips were amazing; I knew they would come in handy when I went back to school.  We finished our shift and I was grabbing my purse when I heard my name being called from the front.  I walked back through the floor and saw my man waiting for me with a big smile.  I was in heaven; I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.  In my flats he was a good foot taller than me.  I was looking up at him when he leaned down to whisper “come home with me.”  I looked at him questioningly. 

Me:  “What do you mean come home with you?”

Joel: “Come to California....”

Me: “WHAT?”

Joel: “We don’t have to live there, we can live anywhere, New York, Toronto, Victoria, hell Bella we can move to a small Podunk town anywhere.....we just need a fresh start together.”

Me: “I .... I don’t know....my life is here.....”

Joel: “No your past is here haunting you....just think about it.  At least take a trip with me, come home with me....see if you want to live there....”

Me: “Joel I just got back to work...I can’t exactly just walk away again.  I’d lose my job.”

I realized we were standing in the middle of my work, and grabbed his hand and led him out of the restaurant.  We needed to discuss this in private, or at least not here.  I waved to Arianna as we walked out. 

As we walked home in silence we had a lot to discuss.   Could I do this move?  What would Candice do if we showed up together?

Be Without You?

The shift finally ended and I was exhausted.  I was happy with the tips I had made, but I was sure I couldn’t do this all the time.  When I got back to my locker my phone was almost dead.  Joel had been calling and texting.  The last message read that he was booking a flight out and would be there as soon as possible. I was half relieved and half angry.  I knew I couldn’t keep him from the loft, I gave him a key.  But I could not be there when he got there right?!  I shook my head at that reasoning, C’mon Bella you aren’t twelve!  Big girl panties and face it head on!

I was off the next day since I worked a double, so I decided to stop and get a bottle of white wine to take home with the dinner the cook prepared me.  When I got home it was so cold and empty.  It wasn’t the bright place I had left earlier in the day.  I walked in and turned on the lights, set my dinner down on the counter with the wine and went and got changed.  I decided sexy comfortable in booty shorts and a white tank.  I put my meal on a plate in the microwave and put the wine in the fridge.  I turned on the TV and put on A League of Their Own.  I needed a little girl power movie to get me out of my funk. 

I uncorked the wine and poured myself a single glass.  Grabbed a fork and pulled out my dinner from the microwave.  I sat down at the coffee table and picked at the meal in front of me and sipped my wine.  I was enjoying the movie more than the food.  So I paused the movie and put the food in the fridge.  I grabbed a blanket and pillow from my room and snuggled into the couch.  I finished my wine and snuggled into my pillow, and must’ve fallen asleep. 

I awoke the next morning in my bed, but I don’t remember how I got there.  I was on the couch....I walked out to the living room and found Joel asleep on the couch.  I smiled that he was a gentleman and didn’t crawl into bed with me, but then I was angry that he didn’t even wake me up when he got there.  I was such a mix of emotions, but I had to hold it together.  I walked quietly to the kitchen and put on the coffee for him and boiled the kettle for myself.  I turned on the radio and put it on softly. I always had it turned onto the R and B station and Be Without You came on the radio....fitting huh?

I started to make some breakfast for him and me.  I mean he flew all night to get to me that I figured I could at least do something nice.  I was cooking some bacon when I heard him groan, I knew he was up.  The coffee was ready and I was putting the bacon on some paper towel to drain the grease.  He wandered into the kitchen

Joel: “Hey” he said in his soft sleepy voice

Me: “Hey”

Joel: “I’m sorry about the other day.  Candice...”

I held up my hand, I needed some food and caffeine before we even tackled this subject.

Me: “You don’t owe me any explanations Joel.  You made it quite clear we weren’t going to wait for each other.   And I need some caffeine and food before we even begin to talk about her.”

Joel nodded in silence and moved over and made my tea and himself some coffee.  We moved with ease around the kitchen as he popped the toast in the toaster and I scrambled some eggs for us.  We at the breakfast island and ate.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell him about Mark.  I mean it was way over, and he had Candice.  After we finished eating took the plates to the kitchen and put them in the sink.  He was leaning over the sink, I think trying to figure out what to say next.  He moved back towards me and sat in the chair and turned to face me.

Joel: “I noticed you are wearing your ring...and on your left hand.  Are you trying to tell me something?”

Me: “I hadn’t really worn it since you had left.  And well you aren’t the only one who was seeing someone though my situation is probably far worse than yours.  I am so mad at myself for getting involved in it, especially after everything I have been through.”

Joel: “Bella.....Candice is my ex.  The one I told you about.  When I got home I was actively trying to figure out how to either get you to me or me to you.  I was getting a lot of flak from the guys, they didn’t understand what the big deal was, they thought you were a ‘hit it and quit it’ situation.  And I ended up at a bar with them, and I was drunk.  She was there, and one thing led to another and....”

I held up my hand to stop him.  I didn’t want to hear anymore.

Me: “You don’t owe me any explanation.  We both agreed that we would be together when we were together, and well did I really expect you to be celibate?!  I was hurt and angry over someone else and I took it out on you and for that I apologize.”

Joel begrudgingly accepted my apology, even though he said he didn’t need to hear it.  I smiled at him and felt like we were at ease.  We sat together and he held my hand, running his thumb over the ring.  We sat in silence for a while, before I got up and went to do the dishes.  Joel came and stood beside me and dried while I washed.  We had said all we needed to say.  I told him I was tired and he agreed he was too.  We went to my bedroom and had a nap. Snuggled together tightly.  We spent the next few hours just sleeping, wrapped up in each other.  We decided to just stay in and order in Chinese and watch some Netflix.  I felt staying low key and away from alcohol would be best for us right now.

The next day I woke up and stretched out to find an empty half of the bed.  I half wondered if I was dreaming that he had come.  I got up and walked out into the living room and didn’t see him or his luggage.  I went back to bed and hugged my pillow and felt tears well up in my eyes.  Maybe I dreamed it, maybe he went back to Candice.....I closed my eyes, felt the tears roll down my face and silently cried myself back to sleep.

I don’t know how long I was asleep for, but I felt a hand lightly caress my arm.  I slowly opened my eyes and there was Joel with a single long stem rose in his hand.  I felt the tears well up in my eyes and a smile creep across my face.

Joel: “Why are you crying?”

Me: “I thought you left me.  I woke up and you weren’t here, your luggage was gone....”

Joel: “Baby I unpacked while you were sleeping and then went for a walk to clear my head, on my walk I bought this...and then I got lost.  Took me a while to find my way back.  I’m not leaving you.  But eventually we have to make a decision on what we are going to do.  It is taking me forever trying to get through the paperwork to get up here.  I don’t even know what it would take for you to come to me.  But we don’t have to decide that right now.  Right now I want to enjoy this time with you.  I love you Isabella....”

Me: “What about Candice? What are you going to do about her?”

Joel: “I told her in not so many words that it was a drunken mistake.  I hadn’t been with anyone since I left here.  I explained that you are who I want and who I need.  She didn’t take it well but she’s out of my life.”

Me: “I love you Joel.”

We made love all afternoon.  It was soft and sensual, and I loved every second of it.  But in the back of my mind I knew it wouldn’t be that simple with Candice and that despite what Joel may feel, it was probably far from over.

Coming Full Circle pt. 2

I was getting dressed and ready for this dreaded dinner.  Duane and his boys were in the living room drinking and getting rowdy.  Monroe was helping me look amazing; he even pinched a dress from one of the designers he was working for.  I was sliding into my shoes when I heard the girls and their boyfriends arrive.  I am pretty sure I had invited way to many people but Craig said to invite my friends.....

I came out and the room went silent.  Duane’s boy’s jaws had dropped and then there were whistles and cat calls echoing throughout the room.  I sighed thinking I looked awful.  We sat around having drinks and some laughs.  We had all decided that rolling in late to this farce was going to be the icing on the cake, not to mention us all being a little drunk.

I was looking for my phone to call some cabs when Duane said he had it taken care of already.  We headed downstairs at 7:30pm to a nice black stretch hummer.  I was shocked but Duane winked and opened the door.  We rolled up to the restaurant rowdy as ever and walked inside.  It was now 7:45pm and when we walked in, Craig was angry and his family was looking at me like I was so disrespectful.  I was all giggles when we sat on the other side of the table.  I noticed we didn’t have enough room for everyone so I asked a waitress to add another table. 

All of my friends were sitting on one side; I was flanked by Duane and Monroe.  Craig was looking across the table at me his face was red as he had saved me a seat next to him.  I was not going to play his game at all.  The waitress came by to take our drink orders and Monroe and I ordered 2 bottles of Cristal the boys ordered a bunch of beers and the ladies ordered 2 bottles of Torbreck Grenache Les Amis Barossa Valley 2006 which retail for about $150 a bottle.  I am almost positive that Craig’s mom was disgusted that we had basically ordered about $800 worth of alcohol.  We got our order and started looking over the menu.  We all decided to order the surf and turf.

Craig went to say something and Duane cut him off by thanking every one for coming he apologized that our family couldn’t attend but they had a previous social engagement.  I snorted and Monroe sipped his Cristal.  Our food arrived and his mother leaned over and whispered something to Craig.   Who immediately got up and walked over to me “Can I see you for a second....now!”

I smiled and politely got up and followed him outside of the restaurant...

C: “What the fuck are you playing at?  You show up here late, drunk and you don’t even have your ring on....and to top it off you and your friends order $800 worth of alcohol?! My parents are wondering what the fuck is going on....”

Me: “First of all....we are over and have been for months.  Secondly you should’ve told them the truth.  Thirdly you told me to invite my friends...and lastly why would I wear a tainted engagement ring??”

C: “Why can’t you just give us another chance?  Is it really that easy for you to throw away all those years?”

Me: “This conversation is over; I am going inside to eat my dinner.”

I walked away and headed back inside.  I sat between my two men and at my dinner and drank more Cristal.  I noticed that Craig hadn’t come back in yet.  I didn’t really care if he came back at all but his mother leaned over and asked if everything was ok with Craig.  I shrugged my shoulders and told her that she needed to talk to her son. 

After dinner was cleared away and we had polished off our second bottle of Cristal, Craig still had not returned.  I decided to go and find out what his deal was.  So I went out to the front of the restaurant but he was nowhere to be found.  I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer.  I was just about to go inside when I saw a car kind of bouncing up across the parking lot.  I knew I had my answer as to where he was...and probably who was there with him.  I called Monroe and asked him to walk Craig’s mother out as I had found her son.  A few moments later, his mother and Monroe came strolling out.   I walked with them towards the bouncing car, which was now identified as Craig’s.  We got closer and his mother asked what was going on here.....

She knocked on the window and Craig yelled “GO AWAY”.  She knocked again and tried the door handle.  I was standing back; I knew exactly what was going on here.  The moaning got louder on the girls end, and his mother was now banging on the window.  I was laughing and crying at the same time.  I had to try and play this up a little didn’t I?  Monroe was trying to hide the amusement on his face, when his mother produced a set of keys.  She quickly opened the door and saw more than any mother should see.  She screamed at the top of her lungs, as Craig quickly opened the back door with his pants down and who was trying to find her panties.....Chloe.

I stood back and laughed at him, his mother was berating him in a parking lot.  Monroe was snapping pictures of Chloe trying to get dressed as quickly as possible.  He turned to me and I was trying to play this up like I didn’t even know.  He walked over and very quietly whispered ‘you bitch!’  I laughed it off and whispered right back ‘guess they know it’s over now huh?’

I walked past them and let his mother continue her berating him.  Monroe followed behind me as we called everyone out of the restaurant.  They all saw Chloe trying to get away, but Craig’s mom was having none of it.  She was causing a scene for both of them.  Both of them were embarrassed and a small crowd had started to form outside of the restaurant.  Our limo pulled up and my friends and I piled in it and took off laughing all the way home.  Needless to say I didn’t hear from Craig.....

 

******************************************************************************

 

August 2013

While I was working at the restaurant again, I couldn’t keep my mind off Joel.  I was wishing he was back, but I knew it would be a while before we would be together again.  While I wasn’t on the prowl, I knew I couldn’t hide out forever.  Maybe that is why I didn’t take notice to Mark right away.  Maybe that is why I didn’t pick up on his subtle flirtation. 

After a few “dates” which usually consisted of us grabbing coffee and either going to the beach or somewhere where we would talk, he never made a move.  I had made it very clear to him that I didn’t know exactly how this would work, but I never mentioned Joel.  I knew as soon as Joel was back I’d have a way out. 

One night after one of Mark and my outings, he gave me a hug, which was odd because he had never done that before.  As I was pulling away he kissed me, softly.  I giggled to myself, only because it took him so long to kiss me.  But also because there was nothing behind it, no passion, no chemistry.  I pulled away and smiled.  His phone rang and it was his wife asking when he was coming home.  He responded that he was on his way as I exited from the van.  He had hung up the phone as I came around and went to the driver’s side window.  We chatted a bit before I made my way inside.   I didn’t hear from him that night, but I did the next morning.

“It was a mistake....”

 

Here I go Again On My Own?

I had officially had enough of him.  He was always dictating when we meet, what we do.  Now I am a mistake?!   I got off the couch and went and had a shower and got ready for work.  I put on the ring from Joel, I had not worn it much since he left, but today I felt like I wanted to wear it.  But I decided to wear it on my left hand, maybe Mark would take notice and say something if he came in today.

I walked into the kitchen, my hair air drying as I made a cup of tea to go.  I grabbed my phone and looked at it, the screen was ok, but the case had definitely taken a beating. I saw a few texts from Mark and a missed call from Joel.  SHIT! I tried to call him back but I got his answering machine.  I hung up and didn’t leave a message.

I packed up my purse and grabbed my tea and left.  I had some time to kill before work so I decided to take advantage of this good weather and walk.  I had my earphones in and was almost at work when my phone rang.  I saw it was Joel and a big smile spread across my face...

Me: “Hey babes! I miss you!”

Joel: “Um I don’t know who you are, or why you are calling my boyfriend.  But...”

Me: “Um excuse me? Who are you?”

Girl: “I should ask you the same question....you called my boyfriend.”

Me: “Well maybe you should ask your boyfriend who I am before you go calling people”

Girl: “Look I am not in the mood for your attitude.  Stop call....” I heard Joel yelling at her and her yelling back....

I immediately hung up.  I stood in shock as to what just happened.  I had no idea who that girl was, and we weren’t actually official...but this hurt.  Ironically, Whitesnake’s Here I go Again started to play through my earphones.  I walked to work ignoring all following calls from Joel.  I didn’t really want or need to hear any explanation.  I stormed into work and straight into the back.  I grabbed my phone and saw several missed calls from Joel.  I still had a good 15 minutes to kill so I decided to listen to his messages...

Joel: “Bella I am so sorry, I don’t know why she called you back.  She is not my girlfriend...well maybe she was once upon a time but ... look call me back.”

Joel: “Bella please hear me out.  I don’t want it to end between us.  I am still trying to get to you...”

Joel: “Bella I know you’re mad but please don’t shut me out......”

I wasn’t in the mood right that second to hear him out.  I changed my outgoing message to me being at work, and will return calls when I am free.  I went about my shift, just trying to hold it together.  Arianna came in and saw me wiping the same table, almost scrubbing it and she knew something was wrong.  She didn’t’ want to bombard me with questions but she knew she needed answers. 

She came over and took the rag away from me.  She looked at me and nodded towards the back.  Thank goodness we had another waitress on shift, so we could sneak away.  We walked through the back and into the alleyway.  She pulled out a smoke for herself and one for me. 

Arianna: “Ok spill it.  What has happened?”

I gave her the rundown of everything that had happened between me and mark and me and Joel. 

Me: “I just don’t know what to do.  I was saving up cash to go out to California and visit him but now.....I just don’t know.”

Arianna: “Maybe she’s one of those clingy girls.  Or maybe she’s an ex.  You need to play it cool....you two aren’t officially exclusive.  And you kind of fooled around with Mark.  So really....just give it a day or two and then decide what you want to do.”

I nodded as I exhaled the smoke.  I knew she was right and who was I kidding I knew a guy as hot as Joel was not going to be celibate.  I crushed the cigarette gave me and gave Arianna a big hug and we walked back into work.  She told me not to worry about Mark, she would handle him.  I went about my day and even decided to stay on for the dinner shift.  I could really use the cash right now.  Plus it kept me from calling Joel back right away.

Arianna and I were working our way through the dinner shift; I had made some pretty decent tips.  I was happy that my 16 hour day was coming to an end though.  I walked up to my last table; there was a group of suits there.  I introduced myself and started rhyming off the specials.  I started to make eye contact when I was asking for their drink orders.  I made my way back to the bar and placed the order.  I sighed when I looked down at my ring and twirled it around my finger....Is Joel really going to come back?  Or did I just fall victim to another mans promises......

to Bonus post or not?

I have a short bonus post ready to go.....

Is anyone wanting the bonus post or have I written enough for today?

I can always save it and make it a longer post for during the week...

its up to you my dear readers!

comment away....and I did fix it so anon comments are allowed now!

Coming Full Circle Pt. 1

I had gotten up early the next day.  I had to go back to work.  I had already taken what seemed like a lifetime off.  And even though Joel was visiting I knew I had to get back to reality, even if I just worked a half day.  I left him a note and the spare elevator key.

I walked to the subway, I knew Joel would kind of be upset that I didn’t wake him, but I wanted to walk and clear my head.  I reached the subway and walked slowly down the stairs and towards the train.  I felt alien walking to the subway; Craig had always dropped me off at work.  But I was going to be independent his time around, and I mapped my way to my office one my phone and made it there in about 45 minutes.  When I walked in the office there were lots of smiles and a few welcome backs.  I forced a smile and a thank you and walked to my desk.  I immediately checked my email which had 108 messages.  I sighed and went through them, deleting any that were from Chloe.  Most of hers were from right after I caught her and there were a few from just after she asked for forgiveness.  I didn’t care what she had to say. Delete.  I read the interoffice bulletins, and a few emails from my coworkers asking if I was ok (I guess they thought I was checking from home) to which I responded to.  When those were taken care of it left about 25 emails and you can guess who had sent each and everyone....Craig.  I was debating whether or not to read them when I realized I don’t care anymore, I checked the ‘select all’ button and then hit delete.  Fresh start.....new life I thought to myself.

I busied myself answering phone calls, photocopying sheets for my boss and updating his calendar.  I looked at the clock and it was almost noon.  I excused myself for lunch and checked my phone to see I had a text from Joel

“Good Morning Baby!  I found your note, why didn’t you wake me I would’ve walked you to the subway.  Call me when you’re on your way home, I’m going to cook us dinner and we are having a date inside tonight.  No interruptions. Xo”

I smiled and texted him back:

“Good Afternoon Joel!  I had to try and resume some normalcy into my life.  After all you aren’t going to be around forever.  I didn’t want to wake you, we’ve had an emotional few days and even the toughest soldier will pass out cold LOL!  I will be home early, I think I’m going to grab lunch and then work maybe another hour and go home.   Date night sounds good.  See you soon!”

I put my phone back into my purse and stopped at a small deli and got a sandwich and a diet soda.  I walked back to the office when I heard my phone go off, I fished it out and it was Monroe.  SHIT I FORGOT TO CALL HIM BACK!! FUCK!  I answered

Me:  “I AM SO SORRY!!”

Monroe: “Girl you are lucky I don’t come back you scared me half to death, now dish what is going on?”

Me: “I hate doing this to you but I started back at work and I am heading back into the office.  I promise I will call you back on my way home.  I will walk home and talk to you!  I am leaving in about an hour anyway.”

Monroe: “YOU BETTER! Or I am coming back and kicking your ass!”

I giggled and said goodbye to him and hurried up to my desk. I quickly finished up the last of the photocopying and decided I’d had enough for one day.  I left a message for my boss that I was heading home and that I had only worked a half day.  I quickly exited the building and pulled out my phone.  Of course Joel had texted me:

“Don’t hurry home!  I am trying to prepare an elaborate date! By the way there is a dress code for this evening.  You will require a nice dress (that is not in your closet) and a nice pair of shoes (that is not in your closet) that should keep you busy for a couple hours.”

I laughed at the text and decided to call Monroe immediately.  If I was going shopping and was walking, I might as well kill two birds.  I immediately called Monroe and of course got his voicemail.  So I texted him and told him that I was shopping and when he was free to give me a call.  I walked into a little boutique store and was browsing around but decided against spending too much cash.  So I decided to walk to the mall and go to Forever 21.  I was bound to find a simple dress that wouldn’t cost me a fortune.  As I was walking through Monroe called me back, I gave him the entire run down as to what happened from Craig showing up to the loft and asking me on a date, right down to Craig showing up drunk and Joel being there to protect me....and everything in-between.

Monroe: “I always miss all the action!  And Joel.....why does that name sound familiar?”

Me: “Do you remember our trip to Cali? The bar....the soldiers....”

Monroe: “RIGHT! Oh he was hot!  I believe I got my own soldier that night as well”

Me: “yes you did, but yea I’m sorry I didn’t call you back but I’ve been otherwise occupied.  Joel is at the loft right now cooking dinner and I am shopping for a dress at Forever 21.  Apparently there is a dress code to get back into the loft.”  I giggled.

Monroe:  “Why are you at forever 21? You know you can go to the boutique by the loft, I still have an account there with them....”

Me: “That’s sweet! But you’ve given me enough of your generosity.  Time for me to buckle down and start getting back into reality....anyway I have an arm full of dresses that I need to try on.  I will send you pics and you tell me which one!”

Monroe: “Deal baby girl!  I miss you mucho!”

I headed for the dressing room and thank goodness I was wearing sexy underwear and not my usual ‘whatever is clean’.  I tried on dresses, and sent snapshots to my fashion consultant.  He vetoed almost every one of them except this red bandeau tube dress.  I didn’t want to buy it I thought it made me look heavy but Monroe’s judgement was final.  I bought the twenty dollar dress and headed out of the store.  I already had black pumps in my purse from work so I decided I would grab a tea and head close to home so I could change and then go upstairs.  I got close to home and slid into a coffee shop, went to the bathroom and changed, fluffed my hair and touched up my makeup.  I slid on a light wrap that I had found and walked out of the bathroom, grabbed a London Fog and decided to walk slowly and drink it on my way home.

As I was walking I stopped and grab some flowers for home.  I wasn’t far from home so I decided to text Joel to see if it was safe to come up. 

Me: “Hey I am almost home.  Can I come upstairs?”

Joel: “Hey baby! Can you wait maybe another 5-10 minutes and then come up?  I am almost done.”

Me: “Ok, I am starving!”

I decided to walk a little slower and window shop on my way.  I got the all clear to come home.  As I headed up in the elevator I could hear music playing. I smiled to myself as I reached my loft and opened the elevator doors.  I closed them and turned around to see rose petals scattered throughout the floor, I was greeted by Joel in khakis and a nice button down shirt.  He smiled as I walked in and pulled me close and kissed me deeply.  “You look beautiful” he said as he took my bag and wrap and put them on the couch. 

He led me to the table where there was champagne chilling on ice and a beautiful meal of chicken with gravy, fresh vegetables and basmati rice.  I was starving and couldn’t wait to dig in.  He sat down next to me while we listened to some 1990’s r and b slow jams.  He brought the wine out from the fridge, which I thought was odd since the champagne was sitting on ice.  But he poured some of my favourite white wine and we toasted to great friends.  I dug in, I was STARVING!  I was trying to eat like a lady but that ravenous part of me took over.  I stopped occasionally to have a sip of wine (who am I kidding...gulp of wine).  I finished my dinner in record time and was satisfied. 

Joel smirked as I ate, but when he was done shortly after we both took our plates and glasses to the dishwasher.  He put the wine back in the fridge and asked me to wait out on the couch while he got dessert.  As I sat down John Legend’s All Of Me comes on, I know I didn’t download this....Joel comes walking around the corner with some chocolate dipped strawberries and whipped cream.  I smile and he takes my hand and pulls me off the couch and pulls me into his embrace and we start dancing.  Joel leans down and whispers the lyrics in my ear.  When the song is over, he turns down the stereo. 

Joel: “Bella....I ....shit ....ok I am falling for you......don’t say anything just let me talk.”

I nodded and was shocked at his admission.

Joel: “I really want you to come to California with me.  I want us to build a life together, away from Craig and all the craziness that is here.  You loved it out there and I would love for you to be there with me.  But I do understand why you won’t move.  But I want us to work...so...”

He pulled out a little black box....

Joel: “this is not an engagement ring...but a promise ring.  A promise I am coming back to you and we are going to be together.  It’s going to take a bit for me to come back here, so I don’t want you to wait for me, again that’s unfair that I ask you to do that.  But once I am back....there is only us.”

He opened the box to reveal a beautiful white gold ring.  It was sparkling with diamonds; it wasn’t over the top, but a nicely accented ring.  I was in total shock as I looked up at him.  I didn’t know what to say.  He took the ring from the box and placed it on my right hand ring finger and then kissed it. 

Me: “Joel I.....wow.  Ummm...I don’t know what I want to say right now......are you saying you want to move here to be with me?!”

Joel: “umm yea that is what I am saying.  I will move anywhere, or move you anywhere so we can be together.  But I know I am not letting you go again, I have to go home and take care of a few things so I don’t want to stop you from dating anyone....just don’t forget I will be back.”

I leaned forward and kissed him softly, I knew I wanted to be with him too.  I knew Joel was leaving in a day or two, and I had to make the most of it.  I didn’t know when he was coming back, but I needed to spend as much time with him as possible. 

FLASHFORWARD JUNE 2013

I couldn’t get Joel out of my head.  It was a lot harder than we had initially thought for him to come up here.  He had a lot of red tape to get through, but he visited me often.  I had yet to go down to visit him in California, but that wasn’t because I didn’t want to, but lack of funds. 

I had quit my job at the office I worked at part time, Craig was showing up and sending flowers and basically just not leaving me alone.  So I figured I would just leave there all together and go back to waitressing with Arianna.  I had decided I wanted to go back to school, so waitressing would give me that flexibility.  My boss didn’t really like what had happened so when any floral arrangements showed up he would quickly check the card and if it was from Craig he would dismiss them and send the delivery guy back to the store. 

I was still staying at Monroe’s.  I couldn’t really afford to go out on my own and go to school.  So I had decided to stay there a bit longer.  One day while I was on my way home my phone was ringing and I missed the call.  I didn’t recognize the number but someone left me a message. 

“Hello, this message is for Isabella and Craig.  We are trying to confirm your reservation for tomorrow evening at 7pm.  Can one of you please call me back?”

FUCK!!! I yelled as I walked down the street.  This is just as much my fault as it is Craig’s.  I had told him to cancel it, but he was relentless on not, he was determined to get back together.  I had cancelled everything else; the hall, flowers, limos, photographer, the justice of the peace...I had asked him to do one thing ONE thing!!

I got to the loft and sat down on the couch.  I called Craig to see what his deal was and why he didn’t cancel this dinner. 

C: “Hello darling!  How are you?”

Me: “Don’t darling me, why didn’t you cancel the rehearsal dinner?”

C: “Isabella, we will get back together, I know it.  Let’s just go to dinner with our families and ...”

Me: “CRAIG IT’S OVER!  The sooner you accept it, the better.  It’s been months; we aren’t even living together or talking to each other.  You fucked it up when you were sticking your dick in my former best friend.  So unless you want to massive charge on your card, cancel the damn dinner.”

C: “Why are you so stubborn?  It’s been over for months with Chloe.  I Love You!  Just come to the dinner....we can talk it over.  My family is really excited to see you!”

Me: “What is your damage?  My family isn’t coming, they know what happened.  And my mom has finally realized that you and I are not working through this.  As for your family, you should’ve told them.  I will not be pressured by you to make nice and pretend we are in love, when that love died months ago.”

C: “So bring your friends.  I know for a fact Joel hasn’t been around lately.  So just come, I know your friends will show up to support you.....”

Me: “Enjoy dinner with your family....alone.”

I hung up the phone and was irate.  What the hell is his problem? Is he that delusional that he thought a dinner would bring us back together?  I immediately called my brother, he was not always the voice of reason, but always had my back...

Duane: “Hey baby girl!  What’s shakin?”

Me: “Oh My God! Craig didn’t cancel the dinner.  And he is expecting me to show up, friends in tow, and make nice with his family.  He still hasn’t told them.....”

D: “You have got to be kidding me!  What is this guy’s problem?  Look, I know you don’t want to hear this, but why don’t we just go, we’ll take all of your friends, I’ll come and we will drink and eat on his dime.  Tell his family what happened and then go home.....I will not leave your side for a moment...”

Me: “Duane are you high?  Why would I go to a dinner with my ex and his family???”

D: “Think about it, we can run the tab up high, get really wasted and then go home....c’mon Bella....”

I silently thought about it and figured if he was by my side I could do this.  I was still a pushover for going, but I’ve always wanted to know what Cristal tasted like...why not try it now?

Me: “You better not leave my side!  Call your boys, and I will call my friends.”

He hung up shortly after making me a promise not to leave my side.  I texted the girls and told them the plan.  They all thought I was crazy, but agreed to help run up the tab.  I called Monroe and told him to get a last minute flight up here ASAP, told him the plan and he laughed.  He was on his way....