Time to Live...

I stared at him and he stared back at me.  The sexual need was evident.  I locked the door and slowly made my way toward Joel. He smiled at me but was backing away like I was a predator heading towards its prey. 

Joel: “No Bella, we both know we aren’t quiet, especially you!  We can hold out for a couple of days...”

Me: “You are really going to make me beg?  Joel we both need this right now....look you are rock hard!”

Joel: “Isabella I am going to exhibit some self control here.  I want you as much as you want me, but I also don’t want to give your mom another reason to dislike me.  We can hold off for a day or two...baby I love you, but I don’t want to give your mom more ammunition against me.”

I sighed, knowing he was right.  But I really wanted to blow off some steam.  I was never happier that we had our own shower.  I dragged him by his hand and dragged him into the shower.  We could at least shower together.... a cold one.   He was laughing as we got into the bathroom and I stripped away his clothes, and he stripped away mine.  We got into the shower and it was COLD!  We both gasped but welcomed the cold water.  Joel leaned down and pressed his forehead to me as we let the cool water roll down our bodies.  His dog tags were hanging and gently bumping against my chest.  I think I knew in that moment exactly what I wanted to do. 

We turned on some hot water and washed our bodies down.  We stepped out and grabbed some towels and dried ourselves off.  We walked back into the bedroom and grabbed some comfortable clothes out of our bags and changed.  We flopped down on the bed and I snuggled into him.  He was rubbing his finger tips up and down my spine and I had my head on his chest.  We sat in silence, and it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. We were just being...being together.

****************************************************

The next morning I awoke being spooned by my very hard boyfriend.  I wiggled against him and he smiled and shook his head.  I giggled like a school girl but I knew we had to get up.  I was going for round two against my mom, and I had to get Joel out of the line of fire.  I slid out of bed and looked through my bag for a light dress.  I found my strapless floral and my strapless bra and some panties and started to get changed.  Joel was watching through sleepy eyes and growled as soon as I was standing naked in our bedroom.   I looked over my shoulder and smiled at him. 

Me: “You better get up mister. I am going for round two against my mom and I would like for you to be out of the line of fire.”

Joel: “I am not turning tail and running.  We will face her together.  I don’t care what Duane wants.  We need a united front right now.”

I had put on my bra and pulled on my dress when he had finished talking.  I turned and walked over and kissed him softly.  This is even more of a reason that I want to be with him, Craig took off with Duane when he had the chance, Joel was going to stay and fight.  He was a fine sight lying in bed with just his boxers, dog tags, and oh those tattoos........*DROOL*

We heard a knock at the door and I went over and opened it.  I excused myself to the bathroom; Joel got up out of bed and greeted Duane.

Duane: “Dude! Are you ready to get out of here?”

Joel: “I appreciate the offer, but I am going to stay here.  I am going to stay with Bella.  We need to be united right now, and I am not the type of guy to turn tail and run.”

Duane: “Are you sure?  She’s (mom) not in the best of moods.”

Joel: “Yea I am sure, I need to stay here and figure out how to get your mom on my side.  But I appreciate it man.  We need to stay together, going with you will just give her more of a reason to not like me, and I don’t want that.  I love your sister, and I want to one day marry her, have our own family...”

Duane: “Look you don’t need to sell yourself to me.  I like you a hell of a lot more than I ever liked Craig.  But you need to know, (his voice dropped to a whisper), Isabella is very influenced by Monroe.  He’s the one you need on your side.  It’s not my mother, or our family, it has been and always will be Monroe. If you can get Monroe, you can get my mom”

Joel: “Thanks Duane, I will conquer that quest when we get home.” 

He shook Duane’s hand and walked him out of the room just as I exited the bathroom.  I cocked an eyebrow at him and he laughed.

Joel: “You heard it all didn’t you?”

Me: “I am not deaf, despite what my brother thinks. His voice carries even when he’s whispering.  And yes, Monroe is an important person in my life but he will not influence me this time.  He has already stated his opinion on this.”

I walked towards my bag and sprayed some perfume on me and grabbed my wallet.  I grabbed my ring out of the wallet and slipped it on.  Joel was getting dressed and turned around and saw me slide my ring on.  He smiled and walked over and hugged me.  It was time to put my mom in her place. 

It was over night that I came to the realization of how much of a safety net I’ve had put around me.  Between my mom and Monroe, I have never been allowed to fail without the comfort of them catching me.  Monroe saved me by giving me his loft when I had nowhere to go.  My mom has sheltered me from heartache by trying to drive a wedge between me and anyone who came into my life just so I wouldn’t have to go through what she did being a single parent.  I decided right then that it was time to cut the cord.  I needed to make a decision for me and me alone.  It was my life, and I needed to start living by my standards and no one else’s. 

I grabbed my bag and stuffed all my stuff into it.  Joel was staring at me and then quickly did the same.  I grabbed my bag silently and he took his and then mine from my hands.  We walked downstairs and I motioned for him to put the bags by the door.  We walked into the kitchen where my mom was sitting at the table with her coffee.  I didn’t even sit down I stood there holding Joel’s hand....

Me: “I know you wanted to talk, but I am done talking about it.  I don’t want to debate this to death anymore.  I know you only want what is best for me.  But I can’t live my life according to what you think is best.  I have come to the realization that you and Monroe have done your best to shelter me, but it’s time for me to live......I love Joel, and yes it is fast, but sometimes you just need to jump in head first.  Live and learn.”

I looked up at Joel and he smiled down at me and squeezed my hand.

Me: “I am moving to California.”