Time Travelling....

***Fair warning my dear readers.  This is blog is going to quickly skim through the travelling years of Bella and take a huge time jump to January 2015.  The next three posts will be a span of a few years of her travelling and finding herself, and ultimately I will attempt to bring us up to date.  If you don’t like that, I apologize but this is how I am going to do it....***

January 2015

I was woken up by the sunlight pouring into my room.  I stretched and smiled and almost forgot where I was.  I got up out of my bed and opened the curtains and stared out at the sun rising over the trees and bit my lower lip.  I smiled again to myself and shook my head, I did it.  I felt two arms wrap around me and the scruff of his chin hit my neck “You’re up early baby” he said to me as he kissed my neck and pressed his morning erection into me.  I smiled feeling absolutely happy and satisfied.  It may have taken a few years and a lot of searching, but I finally found myself...

But that is now...and this is going to wrap up then....

I was sent into a tail spin as I took off out of that hospital.  I heard Joel calling after me as I left the room, trailing after me was Monroe and Duane.  My phone immediately starting ringing and I knew it was him, but I was in no mood to hear his excuses.  I had enough of men treating me like I was gullible and if they sweet talk me I would just be okay with everything.

My phone wouldn’t stop ringing, so I just turned it off.  I knew Joel would start in on Monroe soon, but I told everyone to shut their phones off.  When we got to the hotel Trevor was sitting on the bed flipping through channels on the TV.  I saw his face as I went into autopilot and grabbed my suitcase and started to pack.  I wasn’t even folding anything...just throwing all my items into the bag.  I heard whisperings of Monroe telling Trevor what happened.  I felt Trevor come up behind me and place his hand on my shoulder and it was then that I broke down.  I sank to the floor and started sobbing uncontrollably, Trevor sank with me and wrapped his arms around me and I cried into this chest.  I couldn’t understand why this happened to me again, why was I so stupid to trust and love the wrong men?

I felt a warm cocoon form around me and I knew the real men in my life were surrounding me.  All of them telling me it will be ok, and that they would always be there for me. How much Joel had fucked up, and that he wasn’t worth my time.  All the things I should’ve wanted to hear right then, but all I wanted was for me to wake up from this nightmare and to be able to see that it was all a joke....

8 Months After the Kiss

Joel and I never recovered from his indiscretion, there was no way back from it.  Sure it was ‘Just a kiss’ but I was broken after Craig, and at that point cheating...was cheating. 

For those that wonder, he is up and walking again, and that while Jennifer pursued him, he never kept in contact with her.  He did reach out once more after he was up and mobile and asked me to come see him.  Against my better judgement I went, I knew I had to end this on a better note.  I talked, he begged, but we both knew it was over.  I couldn’t simply forget anymore than he could take it back.  He wanted us to be friends, but we both knew that was just a statement that is thrown out there when nothing is left to say.  I walked out of his house and his life one last time.

When I got back to Toronto and sat in Monroe’s condo and realized I needed a fresh start.  Away from everyone and everything that reminded me of Joel, Craig, Chloe, Mark...  I got my engagement ring, wedding band, and a few other pieces Craig had given me and went to have them appraised.  I met with an appraiser and he told me that I was sitting on close to 35k worth of diamonds, possibly more if sold to the right person.  I was shocked, but apparently Craig had chosen almost flawless diamonds.  I asked if he knew anyone who would pay the top dollar amount and he gave me a list of people, including him, who would when I was ready.

I walked back home and on my walk I realized that this was now my time to do whatever I wanted. I could move where ever I wanted.  I had no one holding me back, and I realized that most of the men in my life had moved on as well; Monroe was in NYC and Duane had moved to BC for work (even though I had to push him to go).  He still came home every once in a while.  He even met a very nice woman, Carrie, whom he was "living with" when he came home.  So it seemed everyone else was moving on, now it was my time. 

I remembered my time in California with Monroe and how much I loved it there, and before any of you think it, I wanted to be far away from where Joel was.  But I also loved NYC, but I didn’t want to be shadowed by Monroe or Trevor.  I needed to go where, as cliché as this sounds, where nobody knew me.  On my way home I realized that I had let my college letters expire, maybe looking at those would give me some insight as to where I wanted to head.  I walked into the building and headed up to the loft.  I grabbed the letters from beside the door and sat on the couch opening them up; NYU, UCLA, U of Toronto, Ryerson, UBC, USC, U of Miami, U of Hawaii (anyone noticing a warm climate theme here?! LOL).   I hadn’t opened any of the letters that had arrived, so I figured now was a good time.  One by one I opened them up and laid them face down on the table. 

I got up and put my jewellery back in the safe and went and made a cup of tea.  I knew I was just putting off any further rejection but I was also hoping that there would be at least one or two acceptance letters.  I sat down and was about to start flipping them over when my phone rang and it was my mother.  I rolled my eyes as I reached to answer it...

“Hello Mom” I said.  “Hi Baby, I was just wondering if you had time to come see me.  I’ve been trying to get a hold of your brother but he’s not answering.  Is he with you?”  She replied sounding a little depressed.

“No Mom, he is probably with his girlfriend if he's home.  What’s wrong?”  I asked trying to sound concerned.  “I’d rather have this conversation face to face with both of you.  Can you maybe find him and the both of you get up here as soon as possible?”

“Yea I’ll track him down.  I will call you back.”  I hung up with her and called Duane who picked up right away.  “Hey Sis, what’s up?”  “Mom has been calling you, she wants us to come and see her as soon as possible.  Are you free tomorrow, can you pull yourself away from Carrie for 24 hours???”  I asked a little sarcastically.  He laughed at my statement “yea I will come now and we will go up and get it over with.”  He hung up and I called my mom back and said we would be there within a few hours or so.

Long story short, our mom told us that our father had passed away.  After he had left us and started a new family he was rather successful in business.  But he had only changed his will to add on his new wife and son.  Duane and I were still beneficiaries, and stood to inherit a large sum of money.  His new wife tried to contest the will but my father made sure it was iron clad and that his estate would be divided equally between the four of us.  Daphne, our mom, directed us to the lawyer’s office to whom was handling our late father’s estate and at the end of the day we were walking out of the office with two envelopes in hand that would make us financially comfortable for once in our lives.  This was the answer I was looking for...I was now able to financially fund my “finding myself” dream.

Duane and I returned to the loft and opened the envelopes.  Inside we each had a letter from our father and a cheque from his estate.

My Dear Isabella,

While you may not know it, I was there for every one of your milestones.  While I may not have physically come to you, I was there.  Your high school graduation was one of the hardest things for me.  I was standing in the back and for a split second I thought you saw me and I cried so hard.  You have turned out to be such a beautiful, smart, young woman.  Your mother did such a wonderful job raising you.  I wish that I had tried harder to stay in your life, and I have no one to blame but myself for my absence.  You have a younger brother named Raymond, and I hope one day you two can become friends and possibly family down the road.  Isabella there is so much I want to apologize for but clearly I didn’t get that chance, and while I could write it here...it wouldn’t be the same.  But I am sorry for every let down, heartache and tear you have endured at my hands.  That is something I will never be able to forgive myself for.  I know that me leaving you an inheritance won’t take away any of that, but I hope that in some way it can help you with any future endeavours. 

Despite everything, I did love you Isabella.  You will always be daddy’s princess in his heart.

Love, Dad

Duane had not let me read his letter, which I understood.  He stayed for a bit as we sat in silence, and then he got up and left to go home.  He hugged me tightly and silently left.   After I sat back and re read that letter, I decided that I was going to travel for a little bit.  So I cleared away the letters and grabbed my laptop and started to list all the places I wanted to go and ultimately where I was going to end up in the end....

I have a post ready...

Hey All who are still with me!!


I have a post ready to go, but it is quite long....

do you want me to split it into two posts or just give you one LOOOOOOONG post???

Comment below!!!

Same Boat...Different Passenger....

“Tell me what?” I looked back and forth between my guys; searching their faces for any sign of what I was supposed to be told.  All of a sudden they were all silent and no one would say a word. Duane and Monroe made eyes at Joel, while he sat there looking back and forth between them.

“Someone tell me what the FUCK is going on!”  I started to raise my voice.  My inner bitch was coming out, mostly due to lack of sleep.  “I...well you see...” Joel stammered.  I was glaring at Joel, I had a suspicion as to what he was trying to get out, but I wanted to hear it from him.  “Tell her what we walked in on Joel...”Duane stated in a very angry tone.  “Look it was nothing...it didn’t mean anything to me at all...Isabella I swear to you...”

My eyes welled up with tears, after everything I went through with Craig, it was like déjà vu.  “You son of a bitch!” I started at him and Monroe stopped me in my tracks and wrapped his arms around me.  “How could you do this to me?!  You knew what I went through with Craig and you cheat on me...when I came to YOU!  I came to help YOU, and this is how you repay me?!”  I was literally screaming at him and a nurse came rushing in telling me to keep it down.  “Me keep it down?! How about you tell your slut nurses to keep their hands off of the patients????  Are you running a hospital or a goddamn brothel?!!”  I didn’t care if they called security or not, I was furious!

“What are you talking about young lady? We only hire the most upstanding people to work in this hospital.  I am sure you’re mistaken.”  The nurse said to me.  “Well if by upstanding you mean pawing at the patients and sticking their tongue down their throats .... That must be a new way of taking ones temperature...” Duane said to the nurse.  She looked at us shocked by his statement and quickly turned to go look at his chart and see who has been tending to him.  She clicked a button on some kind of radio thing around her neck “Call Jennifer Straton” the machine said “Calling Jennifer Straton...I’m sorry Jennifer Straton is not reachable at the moment would you like to leave a message?”  She clicked the button twice hanging up.  She looked at us and then clicked the button “Locate Jennifer Straton” the radio came back with “Jennifer Straton is in G2”.  She turned in a huff and started her search of the floor.

“Isabella please listen to me, yes she kissed me, yes they saw it, but I didn’t do anything to provoke her I swear” Joel said to me looking me dead in the eyes.  “You also did nothing to stop her did you?! DID YOU?  You know if I did something like that, you would be furious and looking to kick some ass, well guess what sweetheart...I am going to be kicking some ass!”  The nurse walked back in with Jennifer in tow “What is it Ruth?  Does the patient need help?  What is wrong...?” As she looked around the room, her face went white but then she blushed when she looked at Joel.  “Jennifer these people have some very serious accusations of your conduct with this patient. As you know the hospital policy, it could result in termination of your position.  You have only one chance to help yourself here.  Now did you or did you not make sexual advances towards this patient?”  “I...I...uhh...well...he kissed me and I tried to stop him...” she stammered out.  “WHAT? I kissed you?! Try that again, you kissed me...you said and I quote ‘you are so hot, I can’t help myself.’”  “I did not!! You were all over me, pawing at me and telling me to get into your bed.” 

“Enough with the back and forth, there were 4 lips and two belonged to you and two belonged to you.   I however would like to see the manager of the unit and would like to see the head of the nursing staff.  I will be filing a complaint, and you are very lucky I am not calling my lawyer.” I stated very loudly.  Nurse Ruth nodded and escorted Jennifer out of the room, whispering very loudly that she was in very deep trouble.  I turned my anger towards Joel who looked whiter than a sheet “A lawyer?  Do you really feel that would be necessary?  It was a kiss I regret, okay?  I thought it was...” “Don’t you EVEN DARE finish that last sentence Joel!”  I was enraged.  I knew exactly where he was going to go with that last statement and there was no way I was going to even entertain his stupid excuse.

“Well I hope she was worth it, because you just lost me over it....I am not going to stick around and see what happens next.  You KNEW what Craig did to me all those months, and yet here we are...same boat different passenger...”  I turned to walk away “Maybe you can convince Jennifer to take care of you.  Seems she may be needed a job soon...”

 

 

** Just a little note, I know some of my readers must be very disappointed in me but I am doing my best while working, which leaves me with very little time for myself.  I am going to take some time now to rework the past posts and work on the timeline. And hopefully get some reserve posts in the bank**

Sorry Dear Readers...

Hello My Dear Readers!

I am apologizing in advance that I haven't posted in 2 weeks.  I am working like crazy at 3 jobs to get some extra money for Christmas and it is leaving me with very little time to write.  I will do my best to pick it back up and try and get you guys caught up.  Though I am thinking I may to a fast forward ahead, not too sure yet.

But on a side note, and maybe I am the last to know, but cosmopolitan has got a new bedroom blogger.  Check her out!!  I have actually read some of her novels and they are fantastic!


I hope you all have a great Christmas and New Year!  And I hope I still have a few readers when I do return!

xo
B

Secrets and Jealousy....

The next day I was woken up by a nurse coming in to check Joel’s vitals.  I cracked my eyes open but the curtain was closed around his bed, effectively shutting me out.  I stretched in the chair where I slept and listened as Joel laughed at her flirtations.  Of course my mind was wandering, in a not good direction, the combined laughing and flirting that was going on behind that curtain was effectively goading the green eyed monster in me.  I silently got up out of my chair and left the room before I said or did something I would regret later. I had to trust him right?!  I walked down the hall and asked if there was a cafeteria that was open, to which I was directed to the Red Brick Cafe, which I hoped would be open. 

I was heading back with coffees and some pastry.  I figured that nurse had to have left by now.  When I walked in I heard a female voice saying “Are you sure you don’t want a sponge bath Mr. Billings?  I am sure we can make it fun” she said purring the last sentence.  I ripped the curtain back and saw her hand on his arm, caressing it, as I piped up and said “I am sure that I can handle that Nurse...”  She stood up slightly and said curtly “Jennifer.”  “Well Nurse Jennifer, my boyfriend and I can handle the bathing part just fine.  I am sure there are other patients who need your assistance.”  She turned in a huff and walked out of the room. 

I handed him his coffee and a croissant, and then sat in a chair next to his bed.  He looked over at me and smiled and shook his head “Jealous are you?”  I glared at him “Like you would be totally okay with an attractive male was all over me like that...” I sipped my coffee as he stared at me “what guy? Who have you been ...”he was sitting up and agitated “Jealous are you?” I giggled.  He sat back against his raised bed and sipped his coffee glaring at me but...he got the picture.

I stepped outside when the new doctor and his interns took over the shift and were making their rounds.  I called the boys and asked them to bring me some clothes and a pack of cigarettes, much to Monroe’s protests; I knew I had to stop that nasty habit eventually.  I had just hung up the phone when a young man approached the bench and sat down.  We both smiled at each other as I sat there enjoying the fresh air.  I saw him pull out a pack of cigarettes and I bit my lower lip, without even asking he held out his open pack.  I smiled and took one; it had been a good few weeks since I had one.

I blew out a sigh of smoke and relief.  We had sat in silence until he turned to me and said “Hi I’m Dane.”  I looked over at him and said hi and told him my name.  I then noticed he had a hospital lanyard around his neck, but he wasn’t in any tell tale scrubs that scream hospital worker.  We sat for a few more minutes in silence before he lit another cigarette and offered me another one.  I took it but didn’t light it; he looked like he wanted to talk so I sat with him.  All of a sudden he started telling me his story.  His wife and he just had twin babies, but there were complications.  One of the twins had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and his wife had also suffered some kind of complication.  They were in the middle of a c-section when her heart rate dropped drastically low and the nurses escorted him from the room.  He started to cry softly, tears rolling down his cheeks.  I rubbed his shoulder softly as he blurted out that he didn’t know what to do, he felt so helpless.  How would he raise 2 kids on his own?  He wished he could trade places with his wife, she was the strong one, she always knew what to do.  I didn’t try to offer any advice, because I don’t even know what he’s going through.  But I tried to offer some assurance that he would be an amazing father and that I hoped his wife and child would be ok.  He nodded and stamped out his cigarette before apologizing and heading back to the hospital. 

I waited a few minutes and walked back inside.  When I was coming back up to Joel’s room I passed by the linen room and heard Nurse Jennifer speaking to someone.  “The patient in room 202, oh wow he is so hot!  I have to get me more of that!  I almost had him before his friend came in.”  I continued walking past; I didn’t care for what she had to say.  I trusted Joel...end of story.  But as I approached Joel’s room I heard heated whispers of you tell her or I will; it just happened, let it go; no tell her now!

I walked in and saw Joel and Duane with Joel “Tell me what?”

 

**Just FYI for my readers, I am trying to aim for 1 post per week.  I have picked up another job for Christmas, so I have very little time to write. If it is not up I apologize in advance!  Thanks for understanding!**

Gotcha...

Monroe and I looked at each other confused. When I turned back to look at Joel his brow was furrowed and he asked “You are Anna right?!”  I shook my head and bit my lower lip. Monroe gripped my shoulder and turned to leave and find the doctor.

“How much do you remember Joel?” I asked.

“Well I was in Afghanistan and ...” he replied

“No, anything beyond that?  Like what year is it?”  I asked again...

He looked at me like I was asking him if he had just walked across the moon.  Then all of a sudden his demeanour changed and he a huge smile broke out across his face as he yelled “GOTCHA”.  I slapped his arm and was crying and laughing at the same time. 

“You’re an asshole!!  I seriously thought something was wrong!!!!”

“Hey don’t abuse the patient! They will call security for stuff like that...” he was holding his arms up to protect himself.

“They will need a coroner when I am done with you!! Do you know how much you scared me?!”

Joel continued to laugh and then stretched his arms behind his head “Baby I am fine, it is a broken leg and some rehab.  I have been through worse, but this doesn’t change anything. I still want us to be together.  So the move will have to happen pretty quickly because I can’t get around on my own just yet...”

“Baby about that...there is so much paper work we have to do, we haven’t even filled in any forms, we only have so long to get married...I ...”

“Isabella, I already started some of the paperwork.  I’ve retained an immigration lawyer; I know what we need to do.  All I need for you to do is be ready to go.  Are you ready to go?”

I realized then that I wasn’t ready to go and shook my head. Joel sat there staring at me with bewilderment in his eyes.  It was almost like I had told him I wanted to break up. 

“What happened? What changed?   You were ready to go a week ago...”

“Joel I want us to be together, I really do.  And I will come home with you and be there for you for your entire rehab.  I am just not ready to uproot my life permanently.  We can play house for a few months or whatever it is, and see how it goes.  We get to see if we are fully compatible living together before we actually live together.”

Before he could answer Monroe walked in with the good doctor.  He wanted to examine Joel and asked us to step outside.  Monroe asked if Joel had remembered and I told Monroe about his practical joke.   Monroe smirked and said “Well he is messing with us now...pay back is going to be a bitch!”  I giggled at his statement because I knew Monroe was not going to drop that.  The doctor came out and was trying to explain why Joel may have had spontaneous amnesia to which we both apologized and explained that Joel was playing a practical joke on me.  The doctor smiled and walked away shaking his head. 

We walked back to the waiting area and found Duane and Trevor asleep on the couch.  I felt bad that I had kind of ditched both of them, but was happy that we were together. Monroe started tapping around on his phone and he booked us into a Hilton that was close by.  I leaned over and gently shook the guys awake and told them we were going to a hotel.  Monroe offered to drive over, to which Duane sleepily agreed to.  I excused myself and went to Joel’s room and told him we would be back in the morning.  “Please don’t go, can you stay with me?  I can shift over and you can sleep in the bed with me...” He went to move and winced in pain.   “Joel I will stay, but I will sleep in the chair here.  But I need to get some caffeine so I will be back.”  I kissed his forehead and then again softly on the lips and walked out of the room.

I went back to the waiting area and told the guys I was staying but I needed to find some caffeine, so I told them to go ahead and just bring me some clothes tomorrow.  I hugged all three of them and went in search of a coffee machine.  I sought out someone in scrubs and asked where I could get a coffee, to which the person directed me towards a bank of vending machines.  I got myself a horrible machine coffee and a bag of chips and headed back to Joel.  When I got back he was semi awake, my guess fighting whatever they had given him to sleep.  I sat in the chair next to him, putting my items on the bedside table, and grabbed his hand gently.  He smiled and gripped my hand “We have a lot we have to talk about...”  I shook my head “Not tonight.  Get some rest.  We can talk tomorrow.”

The next morning I woke up to the sound of laughter, and when my eyes opened there were my guys all standing around Joel.  The three of them seemed to be enjoying some Starbucks; I stretched and sat up in search of my caffeine.  Monroe handed me a London Fog and winked; not even breaking stride from the conversation.  I took a long sip of my drink and gazed around.  I knew Joel and I had a lot to talk about, as I watched them all laugh and joke with each other I was hit with a wave of sadness.  This is what I would miss...my little family.

Coming out of Anesthesia...

I went towards the doctor as the boys looked up and then stood up.  The doctor walked us over to the corner and spoke in a whisper as to make sure only we heard.

Dr.: “I am Doctor Johnston.  I was the attending in the case for Mr. Billingsly.  He was in that big accident on the highway as you know and his left leg was broken and he has a few broken ribs on his left side, and he’s a little banged up.  He looks much worse than he is.  We had to use some pins to put his femur back together.  It looks like he may have had a previous injury there.  He is doing just fine and with some rehab should be back up and walking.”

Me: “Can we or I see him??”

Dr.: “Of course, he is still coming out of anaesthesia so maybe in about an hour or so.  I must excuse myself as I have other patients to attend to.”

I nodded as he walked way.  I was happy that was all Joel had suffered as it could’ve been so much worse.  We had stopped watching the news so we don’t know entirely what happened or why his left side was injured. 

M: “Thank goodness!  He will be ok.  He made it through the war; he can make it through this.”

I nodded in agreement, but I knew what Joel had told me that his last girlfriend had left him while he was injured, so I had to wonder how much of this was playing on his mind.  Duane went to go get some more caffeine while Monroe and I waited.  Ever notice when you’re waiting an hour seems like forever??

Duane came back with empty handed, noting that nothing was open but as soon as we knew where Joel was he was going to go find an open coffee shop somewhere.  Just as he sat down a nurse walked in and asked if we were here for Joel and escorted him to his room.  I was walking quickly behind her while Monroe and Duane trailed behind; I think Duane was checking out the nurse more than just walking behind me.  We approached room 312 and she gestured for us to go in. I all of a sudden froze in my spot, almost stealing myself for the worst.  I took a deep breath and Monroe took my hand and led me inside.  There was my handsome man lying in an ugly hospital gown, he was banged up, but seemed to be sleeping.  I walked slowly towards him and sat down in the chair next to the bed and slowly grabbed his hand.

Me: “Baby? Are you awake?”

Monroe was standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders and Duane stood back from the bed. I think he was having residual feelings of being that patient in the bed.  Joel slowly started to stir and his eyes slightly opened before a tired grin spread across his face and then he closed his eyes again.

Joel: “I thought I was dreaming when I heard your voice.”

Me: “You don’t remember what happened baby?”

Joel: “No”

Me: “You were in a car accident on your way to see me”

Joel: “An accident?”

Me: “yes Joel”

Joel’s brow furrowed at the fact that he was told he was in an accident.  I started to wonder if he had more injuries than what they originally thought.  Maybe he wacked his head or the impact did something to his brain.  But the doctor never told me that he had any trauma to his brain.  I looked up confused at Monroe, not sure what to say next.

Monroe: “Joel where do you think you are right now buddy?  And who do you think you are talking to?”

Joel sighed and took a deep painful breath; he gripped my hand tightly while doing so.  He opened his eyes slightly, and a little more confusion spread across his face...

Joel: “I am back from Afghanistan and in a rehab hospital!  And while I don’t know exactly who you are sir, this is my girlfriend” A smile spread across my face when he said that.  “Her name is Anna...right?”




***SIDE NOTE:  I HAVE PUT ANOTHER POLL AT THE TOP, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO VOTE. IF YOU ARE VIEWING THIS ON A MOBILE PHONE, YOU MAY HAVE TO SWITCH TO 'VIEW WEB VERSION' TO VOTE.  ALSO I WILL BE CREATING ANOTHER BLOG FOR POINTS OF VIEW AND FLASHBACKS.  A FEW READERS HAVE EMAILED AND SAID THEY FEEL THAT IT DISRUPTS THE BLOG FLOW.  WHICH IS FINE, I WILL DO IT ON A SEPARATE SITE FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO CONTINUE TO READ IT.***